Your edge // parents ENJOY THE MOMENT
A letter to my former self as a new sports parent BY KATE LEAVELL
O
ne day you will get in the car with your kid’s water bottle that he left at home for the
last time, that sour shoulder pads and cleat smell coming from the back seat, and the little chunks of dirt that have been knocked loose from muddy cleats all over the fl oor mats. You will climb the stadium stairs one last time, listen to his name announced, watch him take the fi eld and shoot a glance up your way and a little wave. You will hear the last whistle, watch the last halftime talk, the last handshake, eat your last stadium hot dog, shade out that last bright sun beam blocking your view. Then you will get in the car, and you will never be back again. Today may be the fi rst time he sits in your lap as you lace up his cleats and then walks onto that fi eld. He may be terrible. He may be fantastic. He likely will have moments of both. But when it’s all over, he’s still that piece of you that you love no matter what. All I care about now at the end of this journey is that he had fun, that he has memories that
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All I care about now at the end of this journey is that he had fun, that he has
Kate Leavell
he cherishes rather than ones he hopes to forget. His playing time, lack of college offers that he never cared about or wanted anyway, coaches’ philosophies, club teams, stats — none of it mattered. Not one bit. When he is small, sports will seem like such a milestone and you will be in a hurry to get him into as much as you can. If he shows promise, you may start looking ahead, thinking you are depriving him if you don’t get him the training he deserves. Be ready, because the second it starts, the comparison and
memories that he cherishes rather
than ones he hopes to forget.
expectations are instantly out of reach. Don’t miss the fun. Don’t miss the laughs. Don’t miss the chance to reassure him when the tears come. Hug him tight, hand him an ice pack when he gets hurt and then send him back out there. And when he wants a break, when he says he misses his friends, respect that. Just look at him. Is he happy? Is he growing, learning, reaching and stepping outside of his comfort zone? Because that’s all that matters. You won’t care about anything else when it’s over. He doesn’t want to play in college. That was my destiny, not his. But the things he learned playing sports he will use every day when he leaves for college. Don’t let him forget he has other talents, to explore as much as possible, to focus on the things he loves but also to try something different just for the experience. Don’t let his self worth become directly tied to his athletic abilities. Don’t let your relationship become coach and player instead of parent and child. Soak in every moment of
every game, absorb the cheers, the goof-ups, the missteps, the sometimes less-than-perfect effort, the sometimes mind- blowing plays, the team events, the mud, the smell, the tears, the joy. Because one day, it’s going to be over. You will miss the smell you think you hate on that drive home from practice. You will miss the constant shuttling, volunteer responsibilities and team events. You’ll miss all the time you spent worrying about team stuff instead of just relaxing and watching him love the game. You’ll remember those Band-Aid moments, emergency room visits, getting cut from the team and then, years later, being made captain.
Hold on tight, and remember why he is playing. Never miss an opportunity to experience the complete and total joy you get from just watching him play. Because it doesn’t last, and it doesn’t come back.
May 2016» LACROSSE MAGAZINE 55
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