FEATURE
Need support?
If you are struggling with the job, please contact your local Police Federation rep for support and advice. Alternatively, there are other sources of emotional and practical help available via our website. See:
www.polfed.org/campaigns/ hear-man-up-think-man-down/
“I can remember the smells, hear the anger, distress and despair of whatever incident I was called to attend.”
miss the laughter and friendships. I shall miss catching the baddies and protecting the vulnerable. But there’s so much I won’t miss.
The long anti-social hours. Passing my husband (also an officer) like ships in the night. I won’t miss the abuse from strangers who wished unthinkable harm and illness on my children and family just because I wore a uniform. I won’t miss being spat at or
inside my head is telling me they’re a paedophile. When I’m walking and approach another person, I’ve already played out in my head the fight I’m going to have with them when they attack me. It just goes on and on and on. There will be colleagues reading this who will be suffering with symptoms and either don’t know what to do or may not realise there’s anything wrong. Please, if you’re struggling, talk to someone. The more you try to ignore the triggers, the more they will keep coming.
LAUGHTER AND FRIENDSHIPS I shall miss the excitement of policing, the camaraderie and practical jokes, the random topics of conversation at ungodly hours of the night. I shall
vomited on. I won’t miss being single- crewed 80 per cent of the time. I won’t miss the sudden or violent deaths or the suicides. I won’t miss working Christmases, weekends or nights, or missing special occasions for doing such a thankless job. I won’t miss breaking bad news to loved ones. A job like no other. A few people have described
leaving the job as a bereavement. As much as I love it, it’s not good for me anymore. There are only so many times you can pick yourself up and carry on telling yourself everything’s okay. I had to accept defeat. I’m done. Hopefully I’ve made a difference along the way. I have no idea what the future
holds. So, for now I’m just going to concentrate on being mum to the two beautiful girls who are the reason I get out of bed every day.
FEBRUARY 2021 | POLICE | 23
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