FEATURE


BY THE JOB I LOVED


Repeated exposure to trauma had a devastating efect on PC Jo Slocombe’s mental health and brought her career with Hampshire Constabulary to a premature end. This is her story


A


fter 14 years’ service, I have been medically retired with post- traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).


Do I feel like a failure? Yes. Do I feel like I’ve let my family down? Absolutely. I’m angry that it has come to this


and I feel lost. This was never the plan when I joined the police at 23. This was meant to see me until retirement doing a job I’d dreamt of since I was a little girl. But PTSD can affect anyone at any time, it doesn’t matter how big or tough you are. It started for me in 2009 when


I was a passenger in high speed car crash on duty. We were responding to a burglary in progress when a taxi pulled out in front of us. I was diagnosed with PTSD later that year following a nervous breakdown. I didn’t believe the psychiatrist at the time. I thought PTSD was something only men or war veterans suffer. I was in denial. I had a round of counselling, went on meds and got back to work thinking I was sorted. But, as the years went by and I was exposed to various traumatic jobs, I started to feel unwell. I tried to put it to the back of my mind and ignore the signs. I didn’t want to


be seen to be weak or vulnerable. In 2016 I tore the cruciate ligament in my knee restraining a suicidal male. After two rounds of surgery and more trauma therapy sessions, I returned to work several months later but my confidence had taken a huge knock. Then in 2019 I was assaulted outside a pub. There started the final decline. ‘Over the next few months I really


wasn’t myself and found it harder to hide how I was feeling. I lost my temper and struggled to hide the tears at work. I’d get so worked up on the way to work that I would cry in the loo when I arrived. I tried to get a move from the frontline but was told I couldn’t be released because we were short- staffed. I did everything I could to avoid going sick. On the way to work I would think about crashing my car into a ditch, maybe break a leg. But, when those thoughts turned to swerving in front of oncoming lorries, I knew I had to ask for help and requested an Occupational Health referral.


CONSTANT AND EXHAUSTING Another psychometric test revealed the PTSD, compassion fatigue and


DID YOU KNOW? Travelling time between your home and work is considered as duty if you are recalled between two tours of duty or two rostered shifts, subject to any reasonable limit. For more on your rights, see – www.polfed.org


22 | POLICE | FEBRUARY 2021


“I found it harder to hide how I was feeling. I lost my temper and struggled to hide the tears at work.”


burn-out. And then the unthinkable happened. The Force psychiatrist told me I wasn’t fit to return to frontline duty ever again. It was too late for me. That was very difficult to get my head around. I’m unable to relax fully. I haven’t slept properly for years. My anxiety has been crippling at times and the depression unbearable. Nightmares, hypervigilance, flashbacks. I’m always anticipating worst case scenarios in everyday situations. It’s constant and it’s exhausting.


It feels like every street in


Southampton has a negative association with bad jobs over the years. I can drive by addresses and remember the smells, hear the anger, distress and despair of whatever incident I was called to attend. It’s horrible.


I now know the places I can


and can’t go to avoid triggers, and I surround myself with only people I know I can trust. When I see single men walking along, I mentally slap myself because the negative voice


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