overtaken by everyone, but it was odds-on that I would be getting the one with the dog.
Yep, I ended up with the dog one, who was faster than anyone else and mainly because the dog was setting the pace and dragging its owner to the finish line.
I locked the doors and wound down the window and very, very politely told the woman that I don’t take animals. You would think that would be the end of it with some respect shown to me and she would take the hint and go to the next one. But no, she protested that her bundle of joy was perfectly trained…even though the dog had been dragging her to get to the rank! Again, I was very polite, even though I was losing out on getting a fare because the other potential customers were now going to the taxis behind me.
She actually said to me: “Uber takes dogs!”
Now, I could have very easily got into a lengthy discussion and I really wanted to say something that could not be printed here. However, all I did was stare at her whilst pressing the button to lift the window back up which I think was actually far more impressive and effective. She left with her well soaked dog and I did end up with a suitcase customer which did mean that I got a bit wet whilst putting it in the boot. But I was very happy not to have a drenched dog in the car because we all know that distinctive smell that can linger.
I do have to make it clear that I did have a dog and a cat at one time, and a vicious hamster. Although the latter I was only temporarily looking after, it ended up with a broken leg in my care after biting me. However, I have found that dog owners seem to think that they expect their precious mutts to be loved and adored by everyone - which is OK, but don’t expect to get in my taxi with one, especially a wet one!
Angry Uber driver
There has been a video circulating on the various trade media sites that gave me a good laugh of an Uber driver reacting to a job that was given to him. So, because I like to spread mirth and merriment you can also have a good laugh as well by viewing it here;
http://tiny.cc/angry-uber-driver
I did have to edit out the many curse words to keep it family friendly and I would really like to play this at the next Trade Forum meeting which is attended by local councillors and an Uber rep. This would be fantastic to
PHTM MARCH 2026
play on the huge screen that is available, although I doubt our trade meeting chair would allow this. I’m going to try and work out if I can bribe a council technician to sudden make it play mid-meeting.
Portsmouth – overrun with Wolverhampton PHVs
It has recently been reported that Portsmouth CC cabinet lead for community ‘safety’, Cllr Lee Hunt, has stated that the city is overrun with out-of-town taxis (wrong, these are PHVs and not taxis) with the chair of the licensing committee, Cllr Emily Strudwick, stating “If it’s not Portsmouth, don’t get into it”.
This is quite ironic because in Brighton & Hove we have seen a significant rise in Portsmouth PHVs pre- dominantly working here. Even more ironic is that very recently in one week I reported four of these to Portsmouth licensing for missing door signs, which are a condition of licensing to be able to safely identify the vehicle.
It appears that Portsmouth is also looking at improving its own standards after stupidly removing the need for a knowledge test for hackney drivers in 2023. Yep, suddenly realised that it is better to have taxi drivers actually knowing where they are going without the reliance on a satnav. Just like when you get someone in to service your gas boiler who has no need to search YouTube to do it. The council fell short of imposing a knowledge test for PHV drivers, as such high standards are apparently not required, so will continue to allow these drivers to have one eye on a satnav and the other on the road, and continuously apply to Portsmouth for a PH licence with absolutely no intention of working there. There is also the very misleading presumption that all dispatch systems provide the full details of the booked journey, maybe Uber does, but not all systems do.
I have a suggestion for Portsmouth licensing committee members. How about having what we have had in Brighton & Hove for many years, which is a dual licence that allows a driver to drive both a hackney carriage and PHV, which requires both the high standards equally, including passing a knowledge test. Maybe that will stop the influx of applicants to get a PHV licence with the full intention of working out-of- sight and out-of-mind of Portsmouth Licensing Enforcement, much like you are complaining about Wolverhampton PHVsworking in your city!
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