difficult things but do it in a way that was gentle, reassuring and optimistic. I know life can be hard at times, and when you are not part of the ‘norm’ or you don’t fit an idea, it is really difficult. I wanted to show it is possible to come out the other side in a very positive way. When I finished writing it, I couldn’t stop grinning because it was a joyful experience. “The book deals with big themes in a light-touch way, and I think it’s important for young people to have that, especially after the last couple of years. I do feel like we need some joy, and the book is joyful and warm and optimistic, but it doesn’t shy away from difficult subjects.” As well as her own personal joy at getting Ellie is Brown published, Christine had another reason to be thankful about it. She says: “My dad always wanted to be a writer, but his dad died when he was quite young and because my dad was the eldest son and was quite bright he had to support the family. His mum sold all her jewellery and mortgaged the house to send him to medical school, because being a doctor was the best job you could get.


Christine Pillainayagam. Photo © Charlotte Knee Photography.


else who might feel a bit invisible, or might feel a bit othered might walk into a bookshop and see a brown girl on the front of a book and name that sounds innately ‘not English’, and feel seen. It was an amazing feeling.”


Ellie Pillai is Brown is part of a positive change taking place across the cultural sector – there is more representation in the characters from books, films, television and stage. More still needs to be done, but the changes are happening and Christine says: “Decent people who work in TV production, commissioning TV programmes, in publishing that is where the change is happening with the young people involved there. Bridgerton is about to have a South Asian women as romantic lead in this huge Netflix hit. Change is coming from unexpected places.”


And while Ellie’s story does have themes of race and identity, these are not the defining themes. “I sat down and wrote a list of what I wanted people to take from the book,” Says Christine. “The first thing I wrote was that I want it to be for all those girls out there who do not think they are extraordinary – because they are.


“It is something that lots of teenagers feel – and it is not just linked to race and identity. Lots of people still feel this pressure as they are growing up, and not necessarily about colour but about that sense that you are supposed to look like a model, or sound like Billie Eilish. There has been a lot of positive changes about accepting people for who they are, but for lots of teenagers they still feel like they have to be a version of themselves that the world expects them to be. “But, if you like yourself, all the other stuff will come. A big part of the book is about finding your voice, and saying ‘actually, I’m ok’. When you can do that, you are a long way to becoming a contented person.” That notion of “fitting in” is one that Christine struggled


with when she was growing up, describing it on her blog as like “I was breathing someone else’s oxygen, and it was oxygen that didn’t quite work for me”. She says: “It was cathartic to write Ellie, and there was a lot of joy in writing it because it felt like I was righting some wrongs. I wanted to deal with some


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“It’s quite thrilling to see the Pillainayagam name on the book, and my dad did know that I got the deal before he passed away. Faber were lovely, they wrote a press release a year in advance and put it on the official headed paper so he could read it.” With Ellie Pillai is Brown released at the start of May, Christine is working on the sequel, which was part of the two-book deal she signed with Faber. Without giving too much away, she says: “It will be out in March 2023, and This one is about what happens when you think you have found your ‘happily ever after’ and what happens next.” Ellie Pillai is Brown is published by Faber and is out now in paperback. PEN&INC.


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