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your child every time she is upset or anxious. Think about how you explain her quiet or anxious nature to others. By label- ing your child as shy, you might enable her to show less effort to connect with others because she has an excuse. Help your child to prepare in advance
for new experiences. For example, ar- range a visit to a new school and meet her teacher before the beginning of the school year. Talk to your child’s teachers about her temperament and what works (and doesn’t) to help her get used to new situations. Enlist the teachers’ help to increase your child’s social opportunities in the school setting. Being allowed to first observe before entering an activity may reduce her initial discomfort. Ask if your school offers lunch groups or other activi- ties for kids who are struggling with their social skills. Positive social relationships will help
improve your child’s confidence. As a par- ent, you can help her develop social skills and learn to build friendships. A child who has a secure bond with her parent can learn to be more resilient in social situations. Be a role model by exemplify- ing socially confident behaviors. While you and your child are together in public, show her how you make eye contact and say hello to others. When you meet others, confidently introduce yourself and your child. Teach her how to ask for help and to give a compliment. Arrange play dates
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and help her think up fun things to do with others. Talk about your friends, and emphasize the great rewards of building friendships. Help your child develop talents and
hobbies that make her feel special. Children may thrive socially once they become involved in scouting, sports or dance activities. Some kids may wish to initially attend individual lessons instead of group activities, but can then be gently encouraged to share their interests with other same-aged children or to perform within a group. Some children need professional
help, including behavioral counseling, to develop social skills and lessen their fear around other children or adults. The right support can help your child develop strong coping skills, improve self-esteem and reduce anxiety. Some kids benefit from a social skills class to help develop these skills. If needed, talk with your child’s healthcare provider about behav- ioral health resources in your area. It is al- ways OK to ask for professional help when you’re not sure how to best support your child. No matter your child’s tempera- ment, your superpower as a parent is your ability to help her meet her full potential.
Beth Heuer, DNP, CPNP-PC, PMHS, is a nurse practitioner at the Child Develop- ment Unit at Children’s Hospital of Pitts- burgh of UPMC.
www.readysetgrowmag.com
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