CARING FOR MORE THAN THE LEGAL NEXT OF KIN
In the aftermath of one accident response, one of the first support calls I made was to Carolyn Coarsey. Her role is one most people outside aviation never see, yet it becomes critically important during moments of crisis: caring for families after an aviation accident.
Carolyn is the founder and executive director of
the Family Assistance
Education & Research Foundation (FAERF), a nonprofit organization focused on supporting families and organizations during and after traumatic loss events. Through FAERF, she works to promote what she describes as “emotional safety,” an area of aviation response that historically received far less attention than operational and technical safety.
It is work she performs exceptionally well, not only because of professional expertise, but because of personal experience. Years ago, Carolyn lost her own fiancé in an aircraft accident. That experience shaped the empathy, compassion, and understanding she now brings to families facing unimaginable loss.
One of the most important lessons I learned from observing her work: grief does not follow organizational charts or legal definitions.
Most companies understandably focus on the legal next of kin. That process is necessary, but tragedy rarely affects only one individual listed on paperwork.
What about: the parents? brothers and sisters? close family friends? extended
family standing quietly in the background trying to understand what happened?
Carolyn works to include the wider family unit, ensuring that all significant family members receive support, information, and guidance throughout the process. That can include assistance with funeral arrangements, coordination surrounding the recovery and return of remains, travel logistics, communication support, and helping families navigate overwhelming practical decisions during periods of intense grief.
Current research surrounding trauma and grief increasingly suggests that gratitude and compassionate support can significantly shape long-term healing. As Carolyn explained to me, helping families feel supported during moments of complete helplessness can influence how they carry and process grief for years afterward. In many ways, that is the purpose of emotional safety.
Following the 1996 ValuJet Flight 592 crash and the later crash of TWA Flight 800, the United States enacted the Aviation Disaster Family Assistance Act. For the first time, emotional support and family care became formal components of aviation accident response. The National Transportation Safety Board was designated to serve as the liaison between families and operators, fundamentally changing how the industry approached post-accident care.
Carolyn played a direct role in that evolution. Drawing from her own doctoral
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research into what families actually wanted from airlines following aviation tragedies, she contributed to the development of family assistance protocols during a period when the aviation industry was beginning to better understand emotional intelligence, trauma response, and the human side of crisis management.
Traditionally, aviation focused primarily on physical safety, operational control, and technical investigation. Those remain essential, but over time, the industry began recognizing that communication,
dignity,
compassion, and emotional support are also critical parts of safety culture. Carolyn says, “People remember who showed up. They remember who cared. And they remember who helped carry the burden when everything else felt impossible.”
Those words capture something the aviation industry
sometimes forgets
in the aftermath of tragedy: technical investigations are essential, but compassion matters too.
People remember those moments for the rest of their
lives.They remember whether they were treated with dignity. They remember who communicated honestly.
Finally, they remember whether they felt abandoned or supported during the worst days imaginable.
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