BEYOND FEAR AND GRIEF By Chad Shober
The past few months I have written about fear and grief. While we are experiencing fear and grief they can at times cause deep emotional pain, which can make it a challenge for us to live life the way we would like. These emotions at times cause us to treat our loved ones unkindly. When we are experiencing fear and grief there are a number of ways in which they can manifest
in our behavior. We might find ourselves attacking others or we may run from loved ones and commitments. Sometimes we do both. When we attack and run we might think that we are protecting ourselves from others causing us pain. During these times we may for- get that we are still responsible for our behavior. I have heard many friends and clients say that they are justified in mistreating others because they are in emotional pain. This would indicate that there is a belief that while we are experiencing emotional pain “my pain is greater than anyone else’s and everyone needs to give me a break”. Can you relate to this? In the previous month’s articles we explored a few things in life that can cause fear and grief. But how do we move Beyond Fear and Grief? How do we keep living in Spirit while we are experiencing fear and grief? The emotional pain that such feelings cause can feel debilitating and as if the emotional pain will never end. When someone is in emotional pain I think it is important to provide comfort and to be as compassionate as possible, even if we can not relate or do not understand what is happening for them. After all, I think we all want to be comforted. When we are being comforted and someone truly understands our emotional pain it feels good. At the same time we may feel connected to the one being comforted in a way that fulfills our sense of purpose. I have seen and experienced this interplay to the point that it was addictive and manipulative to the comforter and to the comforted, alike. I think this can happen consciously and unconsciously. For someone who has experienced fear and grief throughout their life this behavior is often normal. They have never felt safe and they are seeking for someone to understand. But there has to be a moment in our lives where we choose differently if we want to move Beyond Fear and Grief and to live in Spirit.
I have seen many individuals get caught in what I call “the loop of being in emotional pain” just so that they can get some type of affection from others. As I have said before, though, this behavior can be unconscious, especially when the emotional pain feels so real. It can be a challenge to see beyond the pain that we are experiencing and to know that we can move Beyond Fear and Grief which causes emotional pain. So how do we get out of “the loop of being in emotional pain”? How do we keep living in Spirit when all of this is going on? I think the first step is to have the desire to want to feel different. The emotional pain may not go away but when you desire some- thing different your focus and your energy shifts from the pain to finding something different for your life. I call this living life through the emotional pain. What helped me shift my focus from the pain was meditation and exercise. Find something to calm your mind and your body. By doing this you are taking control of what you are experiencing in your body. I believe when you take control of your feelings you are reprogramming your mind to the belief that you are in control of your feelings, from the belief that you have no control over your feelings. I have found in my life that the emotional pain I was in was connected to many unloving Beliefs about myself. Those Beliefs about myself were keeping me in emotional pain. I realized that people and events were not causing the pain but I was the one causing the pain because of those Beliefs. So I created new loving Beliefs about myself. When this happened life began to change for me. I began to feel connected to myself and I felt connected to Spirit. Shift your energy from negative thoughts to positive thoughts. Earnestly and passionately call on Spirit to guide you in everything in life. How do you move Beyond Fear and Grief? How do you continue to live in Spirit when it is not easy?
Chad Shober is a mentor who works with individuals, groups and families of Autism to understand, overcome and pass through their challenges and transitions of life. Through his teaching he gives his clients the tools they need to do this for themselves. To learn more about Chad visit his website
mylsm.net.
28 •
InnerRealmMagazine.com • 845‐359‐6902
HEALING HANDS NEEDED
Have you ever thought about volunteering?
Share your skills in the
service of others. Grace Healthcare Services has an exciting
opportunity for you. Join our free hospice training
sessions and be a part of our team!
We believe that modalities such as massage, reiki, therapeutic touch, reflexology, music and aromatherapy
provide comfort and relaxation for patients.
A caring heart is all that's needed so everyone can serve in some way. Commitment time is flexible-
we ask for one hour per week.
Call our volunteer dept at Grace Healthcare Services
732-225-4100 to find out more about this
exceptional way to share your talents and gifts.
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48
