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when I repeat it, the love that we got from the people all over the world. The way that we were treated by the media gave us faith in humanity. It’s very easy to look at everything cynically and my wife and I, there were days when there were people, we just knew they were praying for us and we knew that they were showing us this kindness and compassion, honestly. Because I never looked anymore, I refused to ever look at myself in the paper but I would have to go to a grocery store and buy stuff and I would see the way that it was covered with such class and dignity. People got us through more than they’ll ever know.


And were you able to stay positive? No I did not. No. I think that life changes for all of us when we face our own mortality, or when we face the mortality of someone that we love so much. That’s just me, I can’t speak for other people. But, for me, I ask myself so many times and still, ‘What’s it all about?’ Because you lose the importance, the things that you used to list as things that were so important to you. It made my faith stronger. I thought how can we suffer so much? There must be something more than this, this cannot just be suffering and ashes to ashes, dust to dust. There must be a greater reason, what is the reason? I mean we all ask this question don’t we? This is the question. Where are we from? Where do we go? What is this? And I think that’s more what I meant. But the positivity I have is knowing how important it is to be grateful and that gratitude in the moment and to really remember that when something doesn’t go your way or you have a disappointment in your plan or your business that you can hit yourself and say, ‘Hey remember when it was really bad, well this isn’t so bad.’ And I think that’s been a positive.


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Did those tough times bring you and your wife closer? Closer yes, but, you know, I think you find out who people are when the sh*t hits the fan and you find out a lot about yourself and the other person and I fell very deeply in love with my wife as a human being, as a mother. As we’re here now, my appreciation for her and all of that but it’s a very different story, not to say that I wasn’t in love, but the stress is… I don’t know. I don’t know….very stressful.


When you are performing do you feel as if you are watching someone else up there on stage? It’s weird, I used to years ago. I don’t anymore. It’s really strange to say this, but after what I’ve gone through and what my family has gone through, I actually talk about it during my shows. I feel so deeply connected to all those beautiful souls in the audience; I don’t feel there is a difference between us. The truth is, they’re singing just as much as I am. We laugh together, we dance together, and we cry to together. The truth is, I would never have gotten through what I got through without them. I don’t care what people think of me. My goal in life is to be kind, and to do what I do with integrity, and just to know myself.


You have a very distinctive voice. My voice is the best that it’s ever been, I’m able to walk into the song and now become the characters because I understand the emotion involved and I think I don’t know if I was ever able to do that as well because although I had joy but I don’t think I ever understood the level of pain or how to access that.


Do you still feel you are learning? Listen, I don’t know yet. I’m still learning a lot. What scares me is I’ve learned so much more in the past five years than I had in all my previous years combined. The reason I am reticent to give you an answer is because I can’t imagine what I will learn in another five. What I’ve learned is how much I don’t know. It sounds weird, but just be kind, be loving, forgive and try to get through this very short life. And especially when you have kids, you hope your actions are louder than your words.


How do you look on your career now? There’s times where I think to myself, ‘My God, I worked at visualizing and praying and wanting, and putting out all of that stuff to the universe, and it worked.’ But then there’s a lot of times where I have to say to myself that I was just so lucky, so lucky. I mean, a million dominos had to fall in the most perfect way for this to have happened in my life. The question that I really ask myself is, if I had to do it all over again, would I be brave enough?


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CE L EBRIT Y INTERVI EW MICHAE L BUBL É


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