ing trees, searching for rocks and pine cones, playing with dirt, sticks, water and leaves all offer healing down time.” To escape from worries and distrac-
tions, Stiffelman suggests three or four minutes of meditation or simply designated quiet time. For little ones, lay a stuffed teddy bear on the child’s tummy and have them notice how the animal is moving. A parent and child can also be aware of the sounds they are hearing, plus incorporate a little mindful breathing into the bedtime ritual.
Know the Power of Space Most parents think their children would go crazy if half their toys and books were removed, but this isn’t true. “My trainers and I have worked with
thousands of parents on decluttering, and the results have been powerful,” says Muse. Te Simplicity Parenting approach encourages parents to discard broken toys, give away anything no longer being played with and attractively store current playthings. She observes, “As you decrease the quantity of toys and clutter, you increase the child’s attention and capacity for deep play.”
Build Resilience Simplifying parenting means releasing the notion that children must be happy, well- behaved and delighted with life and their parents at all times. Unell used the daily multitasking challenges with her twins as exercises in developing resilience and mod- eling these skills for them. If children spill milk, the parent comments, “No big deal. We all spill things.” When there’s a minor accident, “Let’s just get towels and clean it up.” A resilient attitude is, “Something goes wrong, we fix it.” It’s also about being flex- ible and coping with disappointment. “To build resilience, parents
need to feel comfortable in the presence of an unhappy child,” says Stiffelman. “If parents don’t allow children to be disappointed, kids can become rigid, lack confidence and struggle with unreasonable expectations.” During melt-
downs or disap- pointments, she recommends sitting qui- etly, listen- ing, and then empathizing
and helping put the children’s feelings into words. “Tis is not the time to lecture
or advise,” she says. “Upset children can’t really listen.” Yet, they can be heard—a key way to help them mature. Parents that learn to simplify happily
discover that their children feel calmer and more loved, socially and emotionally adept, and resilient. Concepts focused on creating connections, rather than parent- ing perfection, are easy to weave into everyday life.
Deborah Shouse is a writer, speaker, editor, dementia advocate, parent and grandmother. She’s also the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together (
DementiaJourney.org).
True Happy Meals
When there’s a little time and energy, use these ideas to connect.
¤ Start by smiling upon seeing the kids.
¤ Trow together an impromptu picnic and eat on the living room floor, in the yard or at the park.
¤ Ask the kids to read aloud while parents cook.
¤ Balance a soſt item on a spoon held between the teeth and stage a fun race.
¤ While cooking, keep kids busy prepar- ing a restaurant-style menu, a place setting with utensils wrapped in paper napkins and a way to take orders.
¤ Put on aprons and whip up homemade pizza, cupcakes or something unusual, like BLT pancake sandwiches.
¤ Buy write-on, wipe-off place mats and have kids doodle while they wait to eat.
¤ Dress up for dinner. Wear old Halloween costumes, put clothes on backwards or eat in pajamas.
¤ Share thanks. Everyone shares one thing they are grateful for.
Source: Adapted from 101 Fun Tings To Do With Kids To Enjoy Everyday Family Life, by Sumitha Bhandarkar
18 Austin Edition
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