Love Is All You Need by Rev. Bill Turner A


fter 65 years of circling the sun, I have come to the following conclusions regarding love: First, relationships are vital to human beings and


there is always a spiritual aspect involved. It’s fun to live in a cave of solitude, isolation and quiet. Cave living is easy because you only have yourself to bump into on those quiet nights and active days, however I must tell you: my greatest growth has always occurred in the midst of relationships. I count relationships as one of the best spiritual tools for growth and development – I know of nothing that can replace them in the spiritual journey. They challenge us and help us to see ourselves through the mirror of someone’s eyes. Each relationship comes with a lesson, and in every intimate relationship the soul is invited to advance and expand. Spirit is always at work in relationships. Second, love does not require perfection. That’s why the


Bible says, “Love is patient”. That means that occasionally you might get “rubbed” the wrong way. If you were watching a beautiful sunset, would you call out to heaven and say, “Hey, could we have little more red over there and maybe a little less purple in the background please?” Never. We enjoy the sunset for what it is. We would do well to do the same thing with people. On a monastery wall this statement was


found, “love is found by those who can live with human nature as it is.” The great theolo- gian Paul Newman said the following: “I don’t think it is right to be inpatient with each other. We are all flawed in some way – what you have to do is love each other enough – not to take the flaws out of context.” If your expectations are sky high – then there will be pain. So, acceptance is the key – there’s no need for perfection. Third, it is essential that you


continue to discover each other. As a minister you’d expect me to quote a scripture – it’s I Peter 3:7, “con- sider your partner.” In the original language the word “consider” is interesting. It means: to give atten- tion to, to focus on, to investigate, to discover. So there you have it: give your attention to your partner and continue to discover them. In the Greek language the tense is aorist and means continue, never stop, keep on keeping on discovering your partner. Every person wants to be under- stood by another person like that. There is absolutely no way


that you can know your partner fully unless you continue to have this type of consideration. Be fascinated with your love – seek to know their thoughts and dreams. See the endless and everlasting divinity within them. Be fascinated by the one you love – there’s always something new to discover. Fourth, make the most of now. Love can only be found


in the present moment. I suggest that you actively love your significant one three times a day for at least three minutes. You’re asking what you might do during those three minutes. I’ll suggest three things: 1. Give Attention. That means you’re not busy doing or


thinking something else. Look into their eyes and tell them the truth: “there is nothing more important to me than this moment with you. My mind and heart are full of nothing but you. I love you.” 2. Give Affection. Affection includes touching, holding


and being physically close. Affection heals and connects people. 3. Give Appreciation. I’m talking about expressing your


appreciation verbally. We sometimes tell our small children, “use your words”.


I’m suggesting to you: Use Your Words –


express your appreciation verbally. Three times every day take three minutes and give the three A’s. A small thing? Yes, and it has changed the lives of thousands of people. Fifth, enjoy the romance. Alan Alda commented that “Love is like a wave in the ocean – they flow in and then flow out. I have found that romance flows into our lives and then flows out – it always comes back – sweeter than the time before. You just have to learn to wait.” In love we proclaim, “In my presence you are safe to speak knowing that your words will be received and honored with grace.” Whether it’s romantic


love or a deep caring connection, there is nothing more pro- found than uncondi- tional love for another person. It connects. It lifts. As the singers


proclaimed in 1967: “Love Is All You Need.”


Bill Turner is a minister at Triangle Center of Spiritual Living and a relationship coach. Reach Bill via email: bill@expandinward.com; phone: 919-559-2126, or visit: www.singlenomore.net


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