Sibling Successors Navigating Difficult Family Decisions


By Larry Grypp, President, University of Cincinnati's Goering Center for Family & Private Business


Sibling rivalry is a kind of unconditional love that doesn’t always look like love from the outside. In one moment, a sister can be hugging a brother, while soon thereafter she is swiping a toy or fighting over the remote control. You see both elation and frustration shown by your


little legacies in a matter of minutes. The Magazine 12 5.2017


As the fifth out of seven children, I am reminded of a common argument in our house—“Mom likes you best!” In a comical way, it speaks to the deepest sentiments beneath the rivalries, tension, and vulnerabilities that can be a part of growing up with siblings.


When this happens in a family business with sib- lings as successors, it’s not so funny. It’s not easy to escape, and the friction can last a lifetime. Left unad- dressed, the rivalry can also tear the business—and the family—apart.


Sources of Friction At the Goering Center, we speak often about recog- nizing the uniqueness of a family enterprise, seeing business decisions as business decisions and family matters as family matters. In theory and practice, when there is a single successor in the second generation, that model most often works. However, when there are multiple siblings, it gets tricky, even perilous. It’s not difficult to imagine the hard feelings and verbal arguments that might erupt over who “gets” to be CEO, whose leadership style wins out, whether everyone is held to the same standard of performance, how own- ership is distributed, and how the parents are treated as they step away.


Succession planning is a process—not an event. Plan- ning should be initiated far in advance. Envision the future of the business and picture who is where and why. The situations and the solutions can vary, but there are some principles that apply to siblings.


• Learn to work out sibling scuffles in the family first, so those lessons can apply to the business. If the culture of the family is that the kids run to mom and dad with their disagreements, the same will happen when facing a business dispute. Kids who learn to work it out among themselves learn to work it out in business as well.


• Pay even more attention to valuing the unique talents, dreams, and abilities of each sibling. Being CEO cannot be deemed the only measure of love and pride. Some people are good at business leadership, others operations, and others marketing. Some may pursue an entirely different field. Value that now. Allow the individual to test the market. Have them gain experience outside the family business, before they are able to manage. Make a graduate degree a necessity. Allow them to succeed, advance, and fail on their own. As each acquires their own skill set, use that to the advantage of the business. If your daughter is a people person and accelerates at sales, don’t lock her in the office as the CFO. Let her pick what she is good at and help the family business in that way.


• The deadly virus in any family business succession is a sense of entitlement. This can be even worse when you have natural children of both parents who are joined by other siblings who come into the family through remarriage, adoption, or as in-laws. The best antidote to entitlement is hard work and fair measures of performance. Share with the entire family that a job in the family business is not a guar-


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