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the geezers we make fun of. So here are a few warning signs that indicate you’re turning into an old-guy driver: • Do you think the new Cadillacs are


too small?


• Do your hands always stay on the sides of the steering wheel, even when you’re turning a corner?


• Does it take you more than four minutes to get out of your car?


• When you parallel park, do you just back up until you hear something?


• Does it scare you to get your car up to the speed limit?


• Have you passed another vehicle in the last three years?


• Do you use cruise control because your leg fell asleep?


• Did you try to buy a motor home with a prescription windshield?





In the last six months, have you checked to see if your turn signal is on?


• Does your bumper sticker mention Eisenhower?


• When the police pull you over, are they amazed to find out you’re sober?


Let me call you Sweetheart I tried out a new pub last night. It’s always good to shop around for a better deal, especially if you’re a steady customer. The waitress came over and


called me “sweetheart”. I thought that was a little odd. Considering we’d never seen each other before, I found it a little presumptuous. I might even have charged her with sexual harassment, but it was happy hour. Then she called the guy next to me “darling”, and she didn’t know him either. Well, now I’m upset. We only


met 30 seconds ago, and she’s already cheating on me.


www.bounder.ca BOUNDER MAGAZINE 67


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