DELMER & CECIL
DELMER AND CECIL Down at the Barber Shop
Daryl: Spring, spring, spring. Time to wash yer winter socks and have a shower.
Barney: Time to open the camp and check fer critters in the beds, etc.
Bruce: I’m real ticked off over that waste of space down in Taranta!
Vernon: Ya mean the Leafs?
Bruce: No, that other waste of space, that crowd they call a government. Daryl: Don’t get me started.
Vernon: I don’t care who’s in power. They’re all the same. They’ll promise ya anything, and once they’re in, they get selective amnesia.
Bruce: I’m talking about the chance to let corner stores sell beer and wine.
Daryl: Yeah. They say it would make beer and wine more expensive.
Bruce: Oh, bull. Quebec has it in stores and it’s cheaper than Ontario.
Vernon: And it’s a lot more convenient too. There’s no waiting for the In and Out store to open.
Bruce: It’s as plain as the nose on your face. They don’t want to lose the money from their little monopoly.
Vernon: Yeah, and liquor stores, too.
Daryl: I thought monopolies were illegal. Bruce: They are, except when governments do it.
Vernon: Now they’re talking about a carbon tax. 50 BOUNDER MAGAZINE Daryl: That’s all we need. A tax on pencils.
Vernon: No you idiot, a carbon tax has something to do with global warming.
Bruce: This damn winter was the coldest I can remember. Global warming my ass!
Vernon: And lots of snow too. With every shovelful of snow I could see David Suzuki’s face lookin’ at me and laughin’.
Bruce: Yeah. He wasn’t raised in the country, that’s for sure. He’s never had to run out back in 40 below and find a barnyard dog curled up on the seat growling at ya.
Daryl: They say millions of years ago this was all a jungle.
Bruce: Al Gore probably blames it on dinosaur farts or something.
Vernon: Speaking of dinosaur farts, did ya hear that the Bingo had to be cancelled half way through the other night?
Daryl: THAT’ll teach ‘em ta have the big bean dinner before the Bingo!
Bruce: Gladys Flurp was ticked off big time. She says she was one number away from a full card bingo and she was a sure winner ta get the Kathleen Winn training bra.
Vernon: Is that true?
Daryl: Give you half a brain and you’d be a halfwit, Vernon.
Bruce: Well, I gotta go milk the ducks. Remember lads, Don Cherry for premier! All: See ya tomorrow Bruce!
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