It is more than sympathy Y
ou can easily feel sympathy for me when you care about me and I’m in trouble. You will also share my feelings, especially in times of loss and grief. But empathy is something deeper than sympathy.
It’s not only feeling someone else’s feelings. Empathy is a sensitivity to another person’s life, often on a broad scale, an identification with the life of others and experi- encing someone else’s life.
The Bible gives us a golden rule for empathy: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” When someone asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?” he told the well-known story of the good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). Several times Jesus extended that story by saying,
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies …” (Matthew 5:43-44). More than that, the golden rule says, “Love your
neighbor as yourself,” even your enemy. Identifying with your neighbor (who is any other human being) is an experience that requires empathy. What does having empathy for a person or group do to the one who gives it? Well, think of people who have done this, like Martin Luther King Jr. or some of our country’s better presidents like Abraham Lincoln and Franklin Roosevelt. Empathy caused them to care about others, especially the oppressed, the poor and the sick, the jobless, and the elderly who need help. Empathy involves entering into the lives of others. It requires sensitivity to other people’s thoughts and feelings, and it includes respect for other people as a “Thou,” said Martin Buber, a Jewish philosopher. We can’t really know other people without having empathy for them and thereby experiencing their lives. And you’ll be surprised at what expressing another per- son’s thoughts and feelings will do. It not only relates you to them, it bonds you to them and gives you a feeling of oneness with them. Empathy also prompts acts of kindness toward those whose lives we take into ourselves. The good Samaritan in the story Jesus told not only felt compassion for the Jew who had been mugged but also bound up the man’s wounds and took him to an inn where he promised to pay for the man’s care upon his return. The Samaritan man’s empathetic love made him feel kind and unselfish. He didn’t just say, “I’m sorry,” or
By Allan Hart Jahsmann
give some lame excuse for not helping the man. He did what he could to help him, even though the Jew was a complete stranger and a foreigner. There are other dynamics of empathy when we express it. People with whom we empathize think we care about them, and they feel grateful. Gratitude is a warm feeling that flows to us from those with whom we empathize. Empathy also helps us forgive when we are wronged or have differences with others. Seeing ourselves in similar situations helps us understand and tolerate what happens to us. It dissolves the anger and resentments that might otherwise arise. If empathy results in love and peace, what keeps us from expressing empathy and forgiveness? One reason is our pride and self-righteousness. There’s also our fail- ure to love as we want to be loved, and a failure to iden- tify with others in their failures. Loving others is not always easy. Why? It’s often not deserving. That’s why empathy requires grace, unmer- ited acceptance. Without a spirit of grace we can’t empa- thize. But those of us who can and do empathize with others receive a beautiful life in return. So how can we cultivate more of this dynamic of empathy? Listening to others is one way. Also by partici- pating in the visions and troubles of others, and by mak- ing kindness our way of life.
Old King Solomon said the blessings of God will rain down on those who defend the cause of the poor and the needy and crush the oppressor (Psalm 72). Empathy makes us more human. It gives us an understanding of others and peace. That’s why Martin Luther King Jr. said, “I was a drum major for peace.” And think of what men like Mohandas Gandhi, Nel- son Mandela, King and others like them accomplished. Through caring about people and their causes, they defeated the injustices that existed and transformed their nation. What have been your experiences with empathy? Do you remember how you felt when someone took your part and said and did something for you? You will give to others that kind of experience when you empathize with them.
And don’t forget: Empathy is more than sympathy. Jahsmann, a retired ELCA pastor who lives in Los Angeles, is an author perhaps best known for the children’s book Little Visits With God (Concordia, 1995). January 2012 15
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