Seven Avenues of Self-Discovery
T
aking stock of what’s important Embrace Opposites. Katillac asks
to us comprises two parts. First, couples questions like, “What do you
we survey our beliefs and values. want more of in your life?” She finds
Then, we consider how our homes the commonality in their answers, but
reflect, or don’t reflect, those key beliefs also celebrates the opposites—what
and values. The following toolbox can each person wants without considering
help spark progress. the other person at all. For example,
one might prefer Zen-like, serene sur-
Make Lists. Alexandra Stoddard has her roundings, while the other loves the
clients simply list 10 words that define rustic outdoors, but they both want to
who they are now. The list might in- feel family-friendly and casual. So, a
clude words like “love,” “green,” “food” “Zen cabin” could become a translation
or “memories.” The next step is going longer serve. Creating order makes us of their mutual desires. “I love the jux-
from room to room and seeing how feel more peaceful, confident and ready taposition of two different ideas,” says
well each space mirrors these values. for creative action. Katillac. “It’s all about helping people
Jill Butler also recommends listing create a home that reflects who they are
all of the activities we see happening Ask Questions. Butler recommends and who they want to be.”
in our reinvented home. It helps evolve asking the “W” questions. Where are
the types of spaces needed and suggests you now? What do you want? What do Pause. Wait for emotions to settle. Don’t
innovative uses for rooms. you see around you? “Ask yourself what be in a hurry to decide this, that, or all
pleases you and makes you feel good?” of it. Let decisions sit on the to-do list,
Draw a Picture. Clare Cooper Marcus Maybe it’s a cozy color, a fresh breeze undecided, for a while. Watch as the
has given her clients a large pad of through the window or family photo- choices become clear naturally, organi-
paper, crayons and felt pens and asked graphs. Are these elements present now? cally, quietly.
them to detail their feelings about home
in a picture. In creating a concept of
home that they could see, the clients
were better able to make those changes
happen in their homes.
Take a Field Trip. Kelee Katillac suggests
taking a “field trip” in our own home.
“Walk through your house now and look
for things that exemplify something of
your beliefs and values,” she advises.
“List objects and areas that have special
meaning to you This meaning may be
known only to you—more of an associa-
tion. You may also see many things there
that have no meaning to you; it’s time to
let those go.”
Clear Out Clutter. The accumulation of
things we no longer really need signals
“not wanting to let go or move on from a
stage in your life,” says Marcus, whether
that stage is child-rearing, professional
life or a relationship that has changed or
ended. When we prune away things that
are no longer necessary to us, saying yes
only to what we need, love and abso-
lutely can’t live without, we can better
see the path ahead. We can sell, recycle,
donate or throw away things that no
September 2009 35
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