from punitive approaches to making bullying incompatible with accepted social norms, are the only way to bring lasting change. “We need to cultivate a climate where being hurtful is contrary to a school’s expressed values. Most young people don’t like to see their peers being hurtful and admire those that stand up to peers and have them make amends,” says Willard. The educator’s website, EmbraceCivility. org, offers free materials with concrete steps for students and teachers to foster positive school environments.
Protecting the Vulnerable Cyberbullying isn’t limited to attacks on unpopular kids that lack satisfying peer relationships. It’s seven times more likely to occur between current or former friends and romantic partners than between strangers, according to a study led by Diane Felmlee, professor of sociology at Pennsylvania State University. Felmlee’s research further found that non-heterosexual youth are four times as likely as their heterosexual peers to be cyberbullied, while popular kids are also frequently targeted. Two social dynamics seem to be at
work: “One involves individuals that violate social norms, such as LGBTQ youth, and the other revolves around status struggles,” reports Felmlee. “In the latter case, bullies are vying for popularity, recognition and self- esteem. Those with higher social status may be attacked because they’re viewed as competition.” Cyberbullying’s impact can exceed face-to-face aggression, as offensive remarks can spread far and fast, and live online in perpetuity instead of fading away, observes Felmlee. Gregory
adds that it can also affect students’ ability to learn when some skip school to avoid tormentors.
Helpful Responses Most youths don’t report cyberbullying, feeling embarrassed, afraid the situation will get worse or doubtful of remedial action. “Schools need to step up their response to bullying, make it known that it won’t be tolerated, set clear policies and enforce them,” counsels Gregory. Because most bullied youths don’t speak up, parents need to communicate openly with kids and be aware of their online activities, advises Felmlee. Willard notes that it’s also important to address the bullies themselves through understanding their motivation, and then persuading them to accept responsibility and take steps to rectify harm. “This should be about reparation, not punishment.” Gregory’s high school fi lm assures bullies that it’s never too late to make amends.
While it can be hard to stand up to bullies, caring peers can easily express support. “Bystanders have the power to change the atmosphere,” agrees Gregory. “Kindly approaching a student being picked on who may feel alone and ashamed goes further than most students realize.” Those affected by cyberbullying also can cut off their aggressors, suggests Gregory. “The ‘block’ button is powerful. Cyberbullies want to see a reaction. Blocking them from social media exchanges or texting takes away their power.”
Connect with freelance writer April Thompson, of Washington, D.C., at
AprilWrites.com.
Meanness Muting
Here are some tips to help keep digital spaces safe and civil.
Think twice before posting a photo or comment that could be taken out of context and misappropriated.
Report bad behavior to an adult that can help fi gure out the right course of action.
Don’t portray youth as victims, which can perpetuate the idea they are weak and vulnerable targets.
Save cyber evidence to help offi cials take appropriate action. Some schools now have online reporting systems that allow students to anonymously submit screenshots from social media.
Don’t retaliate. It likely will only aggravate unwanted behavior and drag everyone down to the cyberbully’s level of consciousness.
Keep watch. Apps like Online Guardian for Families, CyberSynchs and YouDiligence allow parents to monitor children’s exposure on social media via keywords related to bullying.
Resources:
EmbraceCivility.org;
Cyberbullying.org;
Tinyurl.com/Bully PreventionTips;
Tinyurl.com/Apps BlockBullies;
StopBullying.gov/ cyberbullying.
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