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n April, Frank Ingnobody posted “Lord Batman – The Dark Knight Makes Return Trip To Turkey” on Facebook with the comment “Here’s a fun game: remove one let-
ter from a folk song title and then re- imagine the song’s storyline based on the new title.” Within days the posts attract- ed over 260 comments suggesting new variants of old songs. Here is a selection posted by the following friends of Frank: Andy Turner, Brian Ross, Carol Mohr, Caro- line Walker, Dai Jeffries, Doug Oates, Frank Ingnobody, Graeme Meek, Ian Anderson, Irene Shettle, Jacqui Ross, James Hogg, Kevin Sheils, Lawrence Heath, Paul Cowdell, Steve Mansfield, Tim Brooks, Valerie Moss and Vic Smith.
Lord Batman – The Dark Knight makes return trip to Turkey.
Sheepcrook And Lack Dog – Bucolic ballad about an ill-prepared shepherd.
Over The Ills And Far Away – Gone on holi- day after feeling poorly.
Scarborough Far? Asking directions on the A1.
Lash Company – A young sailor lad encoun- ters a dominatrix and soon regrets it
The Unquiet Rave – The all night party song.
Farewell My Dearest Ear – Van Gogh’s lament.
Christ Made A Trace – An ancient ballad concerning the creation of the Turin shroud.
Turin Hero – The epic ballad about the man who saved Christ’s shroud for posterity.
Chicken On A Rat – Oh what a terrible sight to see!
Hoping Down in Kent – A wistful song about lost love in the South East.
Billy Don’t You Weep For M – Man warned not to lament Judi Dench’s non-appearance in Spectre.
The Sheepsharing Song – No comment. Fathom The Owl – A song of avian psychology.
Four Nights Dunk – Making a biscuit last over half a week.
Gran Conversation On Napoleon – Old lady recalls the time she met Bonaparte.
Limo – Song about a young man who does- n’t spend all his money on girls and strong beer and ends up being able to afford a smart car.
The Wold Turned Upside Down – A caution- ary song about fracking.
The Oggy Dew – A lament for a pasty left out overnight.
The Wanton See – Song about the prelate who put the pric in bishopric.
I Drew My Hip – Aspiring figure artist can’t afford to hire a model
On Boar The Kangeroo – an old song hark- ing back to the days when animal acts were allowed in circuses.
The Two Bothers – A fairly small ballad of minor niggles.
The Prickle Eye Bus – An uncomfortable journey to a public execution.
Our Captain Cried “All Hans” – Commander of ship insists on a German crew.
The Pains of Waterloo – A ballad of the iniq- uities of the modern railway.
Bowing In The Wind – Sam Sweeney strug- gles with adverse weather conditions.
The Sharing’s Not For You – A song of greed.
The Demon Over – a song celebrating six wickets in six balls!
Spencer The Over – the Welsh bowler that took the wickets.
The Constant Overs – a song celebrating Spencer’s consistent form.
Old General Wolfe – Song set in a parallel uni- verse where he didn’t lose his life at Quebec.
Molly Alone – Cockles & mussels are off today.
The Gloucester Assail – Traditional Cotswold fighting song.
Biter Withy – The horror ballad about a vampire willow tree.
All Tings Are Quite Silent – The lament of a percussionist with a defective triangle.
Edmund In The Owlands – Hero earns huge ‘store of gold’ by looting a strange strigene world.
The Cruel Hips Carpenter – The tale of a sadistic surgeon.
Come Write We Own – Let’s big it up for singer-songwriters!
The Efin Knight – Not a popular character in folk song.
The Hearing’s Not For You – In camera.
Bull In The Alley – Song about something that happens in Spain.
Shepherds Arse – Carol about moon over Bethlehem.
Fathom The Bow – Shoelace tying shanty.
The Prig Of Thyme – Ditty about a really stuck-up herb.
The Demo Lover – The ballad of the trial boyfriend.
The Drowned Overs – Rain stopped play.
Peed The Plough – Far worse than kidney stones!
Even Yellow Gypsies – A song about anti-dis- crimination.
Searching For Labs – a song about Scientists seeking places to work.
Weep Chimney Sweep – The song of the central-heating salesmen.
Butter And Cheese And Al – American bal- lad about the infamous Chicago dairy prod- ucts protection racket.
To The Sheephearing We Will Go – Song about a visit to a sheep trial.
False Knight On The Rod – Disreputable baronet goes fishing.
Hug Of Lincoln – The East of England Cud- dling Championships.
The Night On The Road – A tale of a long and weary journey.
I Owed Some Seeds – Man makes repay- ment plan with the garden centre.
Tam In – Scotsman entertains at home.
One Night As I Lay On My Ed. – confessions of a fRoots employee.
The Arson And The Clerk – “I torched it myself,” said the clerk.
Padstow Ma Day Song – Cornish song for Mothering Sunday. The Royal Ok – The consent of the King.
The Petty Ploughboy – A song about not very much. 0000 Miles – a song for lazy lovers.
Hopping Don In Kent – The song of an irate professor in Canterbury.
The Steams Of Lovely Nancy – No-one could boil a kettle as well as she could. Hunting The Wen – In search of London.
Sweet William’s Host – The owner of the haunted house where William is staying.
It Was Peasant And Delightful – A bit of rough.
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