It’s so interesting to listen to your catalogue and the evolution of your music. It’s like a biography of your process and how you arrived at the place you’re in now. There is a certain irony in the titles too—it’s like you were dropping hints—your discontent and that something big was coming. Is that something you were aware of? With Lies I Told Myself, I was laying down some hints…Definitely. I was in such turmoil and in the middle of deciding, was I going to or was I not going to come out and that really showed in that music. The album before was a faith-based record and was Grammy-nominated, but it was a real cry for help. It was very honest, though I wasn’t necessarily singing about myself. It was about the relationship with my faith and was the beginning of my journey. There were three albums in my process of coming out, securing my faith in Journey On, then Lies I Told Myselfwas about believing that a different way was possible and then my full on Diana Ross, “I’m Comin’ Out” moment, withHouse On Fire. (Laughs) Now that you have the perspective of time, is there anything that has completely surprised you about the process and your life since coming out? Two things: Number one, the amount of support
that I got from straight allies and straight country fans. I received very few, “I’m going to burn your CDs” and “I hate you’s.” That isn’t to say I didn’t have some of the trolls and haters online, which I’m still in the process of handling two years later… I just filed them away. They are going to hear from me, but it’s going to be in love and in an educated response. I don’t always win that fight, but I’ve learned when to shut it off at this point. Number two, I had no idea of the organizations
that were available within the LGBT community worldwide that are so active in changing people’s lives. I knew they were out there, but it was such a surprise to see how much of it is actually going on. From GLAAD to HRC and all the Gay Choruses across the world, to GLSEN and all the other organizations who are out there fighting. Basically just found out about them a couple months before I hit that “send” button on coming out. It made me feel safe and secure to know that I had such strong organizations and people who had my back and supported the work I wanted to do. Those were the two biggest surprises for me. Look, I lived so closeted and was so afraid for so
long that I wouldn’t be able to have my career in country music. The surprise was that I could have it living authentically and have it better, bigger and healthier than it has ever been. You take something out of the darkness and it’s going to grow…And I’m not just talking about my career, I’m talking about me as a human being.
I love that response…There’s a country song in that line. (Laughs) I wonder, how much has your perspective on songwriting changed since coming out? I think I pretended to be a writer until I came out. I
was writing about other people’s lives and afraid to write about mine. I was just living through someone else. I was doing as much as I knew how to do then, but basically, I was not being truly authentic. I guess it’s like writing a book, you’re writing a story and you’re writing the truth you know. Now it’s the truth and nothing but the truth, so help
me...Music. I love music for that reason, it’s such an equalizer. It’s hard to have hatred in your heart when something is
beautiful.Lies I Told Myselfis such an emotionally vulnerable album, it’s a real tearjerker throughout. Perfect for a country album, I guess. I posted a version of “Lies I Told Myself,” it’s a
guy who did a sign language version of the song and it’s one of the few times that I’ve listened to something I’ve recorded and cried. I was almost embarrassed. I wasn’t crying over my own song, I’m crying over this interpretation. It was beautiful. What’s your process for writing, is it typically a one shot deal or do you return to the music over and over? The emotion on this new album would make it seem like a challenge to stay “in it” in some ways. Depends. On the new album, the hardest time I
had writing for that was the title track. It was very emotional because I was writing about the damage the church did to me. Mind you, it’s the church that built me and that I still love, but it’s about the pivot that happened when I realized that I didn’t “fit in.” When I look back on it now, the emotion that came, was about knowing what a gift it was to not be like everyone else. As much shit as I went through as a kid and into my adult life—all the drugs and alcohol I used to medicate and try and fix that—I would have grown up not being able to change hearts and minds as I hopefully am doing now. I’d go through it all again, simply because without it, I would have ended up in the very place that I’m trying to change people’s minds about. All that was going on and behind the song “House On Fire,” so those were emotional days of writing. Joy makes us who we are, but in many ways, it’s pain that really defines us. It’s the fire from which we are wrought. Isn’t that the truth. Man, I’m going to use that for a
song for sure. (Laughs) It’s the universal appeal of music and in your last album, for me. Anyone can relate. It isn’t about one thing, it’s not just about being gay or straight, a woman or a man, it’s about being a human and getting through it. It’s notable too,
that the album is pretty gender-free. Was that intentional? Yes and no…It became intentional. My cowriter
said, after we’d written probably four songs, “I notice you’re staying away from any gender…Do you want to do that?” Somewhere in the back of my mind I was thinking about all of the country fans out there who have stood by me for so long and now the whole new world of other people who might check out my music simply because I’m gay. The more I thought about it, I felt that it should be that way. It’s an album that everyone should be able to apply to themselves and their stories. That’s what we do in country music, we tell stories about people’s lives. It’s a big part about why I love what I do and why I think it’s so important to talk about it still. The cat is out of the bag so to speak and it won’t ever go back in…But especially right now, it’s such an important thing to keep getting them out there. I agree with you completely. Here in the South,
there is still a lot of work to be done, especially when it comes to youth here. I don’t want to hear any more stories about kids being thrown out of their churches and killing themselves, which sadly is still happening...Even as we speak. With all our success stories, there are also those that are not. For me, it was one of the reasons that I came out as a gay man from the South, those stories could have easily been me. Coming from a kid who thought that and for all those who think that they are not loved by God and their families because they are broken, it’s so important to get out there. Even at a Pride festival, I might end up teaching and preaching a bit when I sing, but that’s alright. Right in the middle of a party like that, it’s a great way to spread a message. We are an interesting tribe, man. We’re all learn-
ing to survive outside of secrecy. We’ve come a long way, but you and I both know that we still have a long way to go as far as human rights are concerned. I’m not trying to get political necessarily, but if you listen to this album, as much fun as I’m having, there is also some strong messaging in it as well. You hit the nail on the head when you said that music is a message carrier, a healer, a mood-alterer and we use it for many different things. As an artist, it’s so important to me to have that vessel, as well as helping to make people feel good, maybe make them think just a little…
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