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Pallister's vision includes a caring society where people look after each other


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before school. Hard work brings rewards. “There is no substitute for honest hard work,” Brian Pallister says. Brian’s father, Bill, had polio at an early age, leav-


ing him with a severely withered leg, but he steadfastly farmed the half-section homestead settled by his own grandfather near Edwin, where Brian started school in a two-room schoolhouse. The Pallister work ethic was instilled in all three kids, two boys and a girl, of which Brian is the oldest. “We never went hungry,” says Bri- an, “but there was nothing extra.” His sister Peggy is now a teacher and his brother Jim is a successful bean farmer – one of the biggest in Western Canada. It wasn’t only work ethic that drove the Pallister fam-


ily. They were governed by the principles of life-long learning, of being readers, of loving music (Brian plays the piano, sings and is a jazz lover – at university, he minored in music and history) and of playing to win at sports. Playing to win is a lot of what he is about. Brian was a fastball player in his younger years. He pitched in a couple of dozen national championships and also played and won internationally. He is a curler


He grabs life with both hands and gobbles it up


and a basketball player. These are all team sports and he feels that being a team player and team leader de- fines his style. “I learned through sports how team- work and collaboration works,” he says, and he has focused on instilling a team spirit among his colleagues since taking on the leadership. He also has definite views about leadership, ideas


he honed over the years as a business person and later a politician, working his way from the bottom up. He started Pallister Financial Group 35 years ago, in 1980, from the front seat of his car. Today, he has been successful enough to afford a house on Welling- ton Crescent, an achievement in which he takes justifi- able pride. He also likes to be the boss and is perfectly capable of making a decision when the chaos of con- flicting views are in play. Brian learned to be aggressive to protect himself, and that showed in the early days of his political career when he had a reputation for aggression. Still tough and determined at 60, he has mellowed, demonstrat- ing more patience, more willingness to listen and learn. He says he has learned to laugh at himself, a talent


Brian Pallister with his wife Esther Johnson. Photo by Dorothy Dobbie.


that often comes to super achievers as they get older. He has developed more empathy toward political foes, and he sent Greg Sellinger a letter of sympathy dur- ing the recent NDP caucus revolt. Nor did he place his foot on the neck of the injured premier, remaining quiet during the whole debacle.


That is not to say that he pulls any punches when it


comes to attacking government policy. He decries the Bi-Pole III Hydro deal, he is appalled by the state of social services under a government that claims social policy as its forte, and he is quick to point out that the province’s finances are out of control and that in spite of the extra $500 million injected by the PST increase the government is still running a deficit. Basketball, Brian says, requires diligence and perse-


verance and he loved the game. It introduced him to Esther Johnson, his wife, a beautiful 6-foot-3 wom- an who has a quiet presence reminiscent of Michelle Obama. He says, with obvious pride, that she is “art- sy and outdoorsy”.They met at a basketball game in 1984, and he has never looked back. Brian says Esther is his closest adviser, but then that


is natural for a man whose greatest influences growing up were his mother and his grandmother. “I loved my dad and my grandfather, but my mother and especially my grandmother were the people I admired most,” he says.


This positive attitude about women and his respect


for them and their contributions colour his political life. He is making a committed effort to ensure that


The price we pay when a happy marriage ends It is one of life's most stressful events, but after a period it's important to get back out and socialize.


T


he grass has turned green, flow- ers are up in all their glory, leaves are on the trees and we are en-


joying endless days of sunshine. Spring and early summer is a time of renewal and revival, and along with that season comes feelings of hope and anticipation follow- ing a long, cold winter. It is a familiar, ever- recurrent cycle. There is another cycle shaping our lives, our life cycle. Life, unfortunately, does end. And at least one member of a couple will experience the loss of a spouse in their lifetime. That loss, the loss of a


ness”. That’s not to say that you stop missing your spouse, as there will al- ways be an empty space in your heart that cannot be filled. But, with time, just as spring follows winter, you will return to a full and won- derful life.


Myrna Driedger Broadway Journal


spouse, is considered one of life’s most stressful events. In the period after a spouse dies, you are thrown into a state of turmoil. You experience waves of emotion, including sadness, loneliness, anger, yearning and shock. Even the smallest task that needs to be accom- plished can feel overwhelming. You are exhausted at times and restless at others. Although I have not personally lost a spouse, I have friends who have experi- enced this loss and have watched them survive it and find reasons that in time nudged them back to a state of “happi-


4 www.lifestyles55.net


There are many differ- ent ways that people sur- vive that loss. For some, it’s their family – children and grandchildren or sib- lings who serve as the re- minder that they are still needed and loved. For others it’s their friends and social activities. An- other resource that many use are “grief groups” or “bereavement groups”.


Bereaved people feel most comfort- able in groups with people who feel the same loss. There are many of these in Manitoba, and for some people it’s this opportunity to share their loss with others in the same situation that proves therapeutic. I know of groups where friendships are formed that last longer than the period of mourning, continu- ing for years. While it may seem difficult at the time,


it is important after a period of grieving to take the step of getting out and so- cializing. There are senior centres, walk-


ing clubs, card-playing groups, in fact a multitude of activities or hobbies that you can either continue with or, even better, start anew! Another great way to overcome the loneliness is to find a good cause that you are passionate about, and volunteer for that organization. If you enjoy travelling but aren’t


sure about going places alone, there are groups you can join. One such group is the Friendship Force: I’m aware of two of these in Manitoba. This group meets once a month for dinner and to lay their travel plans. They usually plan one ma- jor trip a year. With membership in the Friendship


Force you do not have to stay in hotels when you travel, as members of the Friendship Force in that other country host you. So all you have to do is pay your airfare and bring along a gift for your host family. This is an amazing way to see a country and also make new friends. In return, the club here in Manitoba


hosts clubs from other countries. If your house isn’t large enough to accommo- date guests you can offer to be a “tour guide” for a day. Whatever your passion is, reach out


and indulge yourself. Perhaps this is the first time that you can actually relish being selfish and indulge in things that you enjoy but that held no attraction for other family members.


A separate cause of great difficulty


when a spouse dies – and most frequent- ly, of course, for the widow – is finan- cial affairs, if the spouse has looked after these matters alone. If this is the case in your family, you will need someone you can trust who can help you settle all estate matters and show you how to take on future financial chores yourself. (The wiser course, clearly, is normally for spouses to acquaint themselves with household financial matters during their marriage, and I would strongly encour- age those who can to do so.) There is still the worry for the wife,


about who will look after repairs in the house or to the car. There still exists in our culture a division of labour in household chores that sees men attend- ing to both these matters – and on the flip side leaving the cooking and house cleaning for the women. Yes, there will be difficult times; often


at unexpected moments. But remember this important fact: you will be happy again. This is the single, most impor- tant thing to know. You will continue to miss your beloved spouse; there will be grief. But you will find over time that you will focus more on pleasant memo- ries and happy times. You will have a full and happy life again. Life really does go on.


Myrna Driedger is MLA for Charles- wood. June 2015


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