KATHY NAJIMY


CARRYING A TORCH


“If you don’t have your rights, I don’t have my rights. If I


tolerate you being subjugated, disrespected or oppressed, that oppression is eventually going to come and bite me in the ass.”


by joel martens


Kathy Najimy has always been vocifer- ous about her political views. It is part of what makes her such an ideal friend for the LGBT community… and a perfect candidate for the Torchbearer Award, she is about to re- ceive from the LGBT Center Orange County. We need our allies and we need to celebrate and support them when they fight for our causes—however unpopular or difficult the cause might be. Najimy shared this about an early lesson she learned from her friend, Glo- ria Steinem, “It’s so hard, people really don’t like it when you speak out.” Gloria said to me, “Why do you think they call it a fight? The fight for LGBT rights, the fight for women’s rights, it’s not an easy thing.” Amen, Sister.


You seem to be a performer who has had a very directed career path and have been very clear about what you wanted in life. I would certainly call it that, though I don’t know if


my agents would (laughs). They would probably call it very disappointing, because I was very specific. But, it works for me; it fits me. I’ve always been a political person, as well as a person who enjoys humor. Growing up, I didn’t look like how you were sup- posed to look, to be the star of a play, a TV show or a


film and so I would find ways to insert myself. Mostly, the way I did that, was to just write my own material. Through that, I met Mo Gaffney in 1980, when I was di- recting a theatre group at Planned Parenthood. It was a group of teenagers, in San Diego and was this series of pieces that had to do with sexuality, birth control and body image, feminism, boys and girls, runaways and parents…the issues that teenagers deal with. We toured around Los Angeles and San Diego. From that, I made what might seem like a sort of


a big transition into the Kathy and Mo Show. It was Mo and I doing pieces we wrote that had to do with issues we believed in and reflected our point of view as feminists. With a lot of hard work, the show became very popular and we moved to New York. There, we had a long two-year Off-Broadway run, which resulted in two HBO specials and that resulted in me getting auditions for some movies. It had a very unusual flow, my career, but if you look at it, it kind of makes sense. It’s interesting, now that I have had conversations with a fair amount of actors, musicians and performers, those that have a good sense of who they are as humans, seem to make very directed choices about what they do. I think you sort of learn who you are, glean who you


are, along the way. What’s the right fit and what’s not. I always say, that if I have a hesitance about taking a role and I know in my heart that it’s not right... my body shoots it out like a bad IUD (laughs). My body rejects it like a foreign object. Oh my god, that is so hysterical. That’s not to say—and let’s say this in big bold


print—that I haven’t done many gigs that aren’t in my political wheelhouse, the things that I’ve had to do for rent. In general though, even the big sort of blockbusters, have allowed me to either do other projects that really are from my point of view, or, have given me a platform. I’ve been on every talk show there is and most of the time I try, much to the dismay of the daytime talk show producers, to talk about something that I believe in. When did you first “come out” as an activist? I grew up in the theatre, all the guys that I knew


there were gay. They were the first men that I fell in love with, literally. I mean, as a group… and I am married to a perfectly wonderful, straight man. If you told me you were going to drop me in the middle of 250 straight men, or 250 gay men, I’d pick the 250 gay men hands down. (Laughs) I think my gay rights activism goes hand-in-hand


with my feminism. The umbrella of what I believe in, as a feminist, does not strictly have to do with only women, of course. It has to do with the rights, respect, the equality and the opportunities of all people. If


you don’t have your rights, I don’t have my rights. If I tolerate you being subjugated, disrespected or op- pressed, that oppression is eventually going to come and bite me in the ass. It’s interesting; I’ve been working on a possible


series for HBO about Ms. Magazine and the women’s movement in the ‘70s. As women, we’ve done a lot of work for the civil rights movement, of which I am very proud and wouldn’t have any other way and I’ve done a lot of work for LGBT groups, as well. I can’t even tell you what a joy that brings me, in particular when we make great strides. Sometimes though, we have a difficult time focusing on ourselves. We need the help, as well. In particular, from both of those communities in which women are predominant. At some point, we really need to take on sexism and collectively attack it like we attack homophobia and racism. It’s really all the same thing, when you treat humans with respect and dignity, to offer equal op- portunity and the same rights. It’s how I feel about all people. The feminist struggle was right in front of my eyes growing up, that was what I could touch and feel. I could see women being discriminated against, having their reproductive rights taken away and their rights, in general, not being equal. That allowed me to see my gay men and women friends being dis- criminated against in such hateful ways… especially in the ‘80s when I was an AIDS activist. Change is never pretty, is it? It’s not pretty and honey, it isn’t easy. It takes the loudest and most inappropriate people in order to focus the attention on that which seems so unfamil- iar. And, you have to be willing to accept the reper- cussions when you are the loud person—especially if you are in the public sphere. People have often asked me if I think that being radical and so vocal has limited the roles that are offered to me and I say, “Yes, absolutely.” It’s their right to not want to hire me… and it’s my right to keep speaking and not care. It’s not without its repercussions, you have to be aware that there can be backlash. You just have to decide if the fight is worth it.


Wise words, my dear Kathy, very wise words.


For more ofThe Rage Monthly’s interview with Kathy Najimy, go toragemonthly.com.


The LGBT Center Orange County’sIndigo Ball, during which Najimy and others are being honored, takes place on Saturday, April 18at the Lyon Air Museum in Santa Ana. For tickets and more information, call 714.953.5428 or go to lgbtcenteroc.org/indigoball.


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