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Ice cream or green salad - you choose


“In the beginning God covered the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so man and woman would live long healthy lives.


Then using God’s bountiful gifts, Satan created dairy ice cream. And Satan said, “You want hot fudge on top?’ and man said, ‘Yes!’ and woman said ‘I’ll have one too, with a large chocolate flake’. And lo, they gained ten pounds.


And God created the healthy yogurt so that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And woman went from a size 12 to a size 14. So God said, ‘Try my fresh green


salad’. And Satan presented blue cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And man and woman unfastened their belts following the repast.


God then said, ‘I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them’. And Satan brought forth deep fried king prawns, and fish covered in batter, so big it needed a separate plate. And man’s cholesterol went through the roof.


Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And man put on more pounds.


Wheel alignment


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Wheel alignment ensures the best road handling, helps you save fuel, and ensures tyre protection from irregular and quick wears. You’ll know you need alignment when your car is suddenly pulling to the right or the left, when tyres are squealing, and when there is uneven wear on your tyres.


Alignment is also critical when you drive down bad roads a lot. Tyre manufacturers recommend getting your alignment looked at every 6000 miles.


Spotlight on Clevedon / Spotlight on Motoring - page 18


God then brought forth running shoes so that his children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan came forth with Cable TV with remote control so man would not have to toil changing the channels. And man and woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.


Then God gave lean beef so that man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created the double cheeseburger. Then Satan said, ‘You want chips with that?’ and man replied, ‘Yes, large please’. And Satan said, ‘It is good’. And man and woman went into cardiac arrest. Then God...”


Many thanks to David Harrex for sharing this article.


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