by sylvia rodemeyer
I AM NOT A LESBIAN
Well I am, but not like you think. Even in 2013 stereotypes run rampant and sometimes the assumptions are even worse from within the LGBT community than from mainstream culture. Of course, all are welcome to cultivate their own identity and express themselves however they wish, but this is me.
1.I Am Not “Into” Sports. I don’t play them, I don’t watch them. I can’t name a single current NBA or
WNBA player and probably couldn’t make a three- pointer if my life depended on it. The Super Bowl never appeared on my TV—not even the Beyoncé Bowl show. I will never own a team jersey. I attempted to join a gay softball league with some friends last year—we were horrible and awkward and didn’t finish the season.
2. I Don’t Hate Men. I love men. I don’t want to date them, but I count just as many men as
women—straight and gay—among my closest friends. On another note, I don’t hate gay men either. This pseudo-feud between the L and the G in LGBT is pointless and hurtful. When certain groups of gay men turn their noses up at lesbians or make catty comments upon being introduced to a lesbian while out and about, it sets us all back.
3.I Don’t Want To Be A Man.A common mis- conception is that all lesbians secretly want to
be men. Even the most masculine-presenting lesbian doesn’t necessarily long to check M over F on forms.
4.I Don’t “Look Straight.”Just because I am very femme-presenting doesn’t mean I “look
straight.” At work, at clubs, at college—it didn’t matter—I’ve had so many people say, “But you don’t look gay” upon finding out I dated wom- en. There are just as many femme-identified lesbians as masculine-presenting lesbians. It’s just that most people make assumptions about sexuality based on appearance and if you’re on the femme spectrum, most people assume you’re straight.
5. I’m Not “Going Through A Phase.” Thankfully, this assumption has dropped off in
recent years, especially since my wife and I got married, but there are still casual acquaintances or distant family members who imply that this “whole lesbian thing” is just phase. It isn’t. Com- ing out over a decade ago and forging a life with a supportive partner in an LGBT-accepting city was a choice—but feeling this way isn’t.
20 RAGE monthly | MARCH 2013 RAGE monthly | MARCH 2013
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