Self-harmers ‘are ill, not weak’ Where to go


By Liza Scholefield


A REFORMED self-harmer liv- ing in Park Wood has spoken about the lack of awareness of her illness. Victoria (19), who grew up in Shepway, says she has not harmed herself for a year, hav- ing endured four years of self- abuse that began when she was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and anorexia at the age of 14. Now the mother of a nine- month-old son, Victoria credits her partner for helping her re- covery. Recalling growing up as a pupil at a Maidstone second- ary school, she said: “When I started self-harming, a friend noticed and told a teacher. They took me to someone from student support, but they did- n't have a clue at first. “They didn’t understand me.


I saw a school counsellor for a few sessions. It was horrible talking to them. I saw it as my problem and I thought it was up to me to deal with it. “Nobody in my family no-


ticed. I hid it from them. My dad, who is now 76, didn't even notice when the razor was missing and he had to go and buy more blades, or when mir- rors got smashed. “One friend knew I was self- harming and it was a good thing she knew. If I cut too deep I had someone I could confide in. When she told a teacher I got pulled out of my lesson and medical staff checked my cuts. I was isolated from the other students; they saw me as a threat to them, as if I would get the glass and cut them.” She was sent to the Children


and Adolescent Mental Health Services in Maidstone. But this was not a success, as Victoria had to attend with her father, and that caused more argu- ments at home. Victoria says shewas badly bullied at school by children who were spiteful towards her because of her con- dition.


Service station


homes refused AN outline application to rede- velop the Iden Park Service Station in Cranbrook Road, Sta- plehurst, to provide eight homes has been refused. Maidstone Council’s decision notice said the proposal was contrary to the development plan and would cause harm to the open countryside. The proposals would have


seen the new homes laid out in a horsehoe shape, with dwellings at right angles to the highway at either end of the site to act as “visual bookends, but significantly set back”, said the supporting statement.


18 South


‘More awareness is needed’ ALEX Turner, chairman of theMaidstone Local Children’s Trust, said: “I havemetVictoria andwas struckby howwell she seemed, despite some of the disturbing memories of her earlier life. She has become amother, who wants to give support to other people who are going through simi- larexperiences.Shewants tohelp fill a gap in local provision. “Itseemsthere is little information


available, locally, on cutting and self harm, which is geared to our young- sters.Wewould like touse Victoria’s experience to engage with users of local youth provision to developma- terials suchas leafletsandaDVD, for use in schools. “The InfoZone, part of the youth


service in Maidstone, has offered to help and we need to raise about £1,000 to do this.”


After one particularly bad


day, she cut her wrists. “My little sister found me,”


she said. “She was just 11 or 12. She was so sweet and support- ive, even though she didn’t un- derstand. She brought me toilet roll and bandages and cleaned me up. That night she slept at the bottom of my bed. I was so low I couldn’t take anymore.” Victoria was admitted to hos-


pital and then to The Priory in Ticehurst, East Sussex. “I was at Ticehurst for three months,” she said. “They did- n’t understand me. There were so many rules – they searched all my belongings, they took everything I could have harmed myself with. It made me feel like a five-year-old. “I broke out. The police were


called and I was sectioned at Hastings police station. They did allow me home, but I ran away. “Then the hospital discharged


me. School wouldn’t take me back at first, and when they did, I punched one of the bullies and Iwas outofschool.” At 17, Victoria left home and


she and her partner moved in with his sister. At 18, she be- came pregnant. Holding her baby son on her knee, Victoria says she hasn't


harmed herself for a year. She credits her partner with giving her the space she needed to re- cover. “He didn’t judge me. He did-


n’t take my razors off me. Be- fore I had to hide everything, but when I moved in with him I had true freedom. He accepted it was part of me. “There is so much awareness


of cancer and other illnesses, but mental health is ignored. “Self-harming is such a com-


mon thing, but people sweep it under the carpet.My depression was ignored. I saw doctors, but they said there was nothing wrongwithme and thatmyself- harming was attention-seeking. “But feeling like you want to


kill yourself is something that nobody should ever feel.” Victoria wants to see mentoring programmes where recovered self-harmers can help others. “People who do this need to


know they’re not alone. This is an illness – not a weakness. When I was younger I thought it would never end, but I realise things can change and get better. You need someone who is not going to judge you.” The names of the people in


this story have been changed to protect their identities.


to find help JESSICA Mookherjee, assistant director for public health for NHS Kent and Medway said: “Self-harm is a way of physi- cally expressing deep emotional distress. “Many young people who


harm themselves keep their be- haviour secret and try to treat their injuries themselves. If any young person feels theymayself- harm, or knows someonewhois in danger, it is important to talk to an adult they can trust. “GPs, schools and other pro- fessionals can refer young peo- ple directly to Child and Adolescent MentalHealth Serv- ices (CAMHS), and anyone who has seriously self-harmed will be seen as amatter of urgency. “CAMHS nurses are now also


based inWest Kent A&E depart- ments in the evenings. Young people who have self-harmed will have their injuries treated andwill then speak to aCAMHS nurse, who will assess whether they need to be admitted to hos- pital or treated by a community team, andwill refer them. “NHS Kent and Medway worked with Kent County Council earlier this year to send out a fact sheet on self-harm to secondary schools and colleges, with information and resources. “Wewould like to inviteVicto-


ria – and other people who have self-harmed – towork with us to make services better. “They can email pals@east- coastkent.nhs.uk or text 07825 844746, mentioning self-harm services.” More help is available at:


NHS Choices: www.nhs.uk/ conditions/self-injury Samaritans 08457 909090, www.samaritans.org National Self Harm Network www.nshn.co.uk, evening helpline 0800 622 6000 Harmless - www.harmless.org.uk MIND -www.mind.org.uk


Holiday plan consent MAIDSTONE Council has granted planning permission to turn an outbuilding into holi- day accommodation in Clapper Lane, Staplehurst. The council was happy with


Mums show pupils how its done A NEWLY-formed choir ofmums from Sutton Valence Prep School have given their debut performance to the children. “Mumma Mia”, made up from more than 25 mothers of pupils at the


prep school sang three songs in the Bates Hall, including Adele’s “Make You Feel My Love”. The choir, formed last term, have been rehearsing once a week, in-


spired by the school’s own commitment to music. Theywere accompa- nied on piano by upper sixth pupil Joshua Streetley. Jane Farrell, mum to Charlotte (8) and Olivia (6) said: “Being part of


thechoirissuchfun anditreallybringsusall together.Myown daugh- ters are both in the school choir and they love it.”


To contact Downs Mail just phone 01622 630330


the proposal for Faith Cottage, on condition of the retention of trees and hedging to the south- ern boundary.


Oast home idea CHRISTINE Gibson has applied to convert The Oast in Brishing Lane, Boughton Monchelsea, from one home into two.


Alpaca scheme MAURICE Claydon has with- drawn his application to sell al- paca products in Maidstone Road,Marden.


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