Well in a perfect world, this understanding would hold true. Unfortunately, we are not living in a perfect world and will either face a bully personally or have to effectively minister life to those who encounter such harassment.
Bullying in the Church
Abusing Positions of Power at the Expense of Others By Evangelist DeLisa Reed
WAIT A MINUTE . . . isn’t the church supposed to be the place where one can feel safe and secure, as well as accepted and valued by others? Isn’t the church supposed to be the place where life is spoken and a life in Christ is respected? Surely, this is a mis- nomer, an exaggeration, or an overused assumption. Surely saints wouldn’t bully each other in the church and definitely not in the Church of God in Christ.
28 INSPIRATIONTODAY When one hears the word “bully” it is usually
used in the context of aggressive behavior on the school playground, neighborhoods or the like. But rarely do you hear the word used in conjunction to the church sanctuary. The Bibles state in I Thessalo- nians 5:12 “to know them which labour among you.” The first question becomes, “how does one identify a bully in the church?” The second question is then, “how does one deal with a church bully?”
Church bullying can be flagrant but
is often more subtle. It usually stems from church cliques or people in positions of power or prestige. It can be done through coercion or intimidation, however, the ultimate goal is to disempower people who do not “fit in”. Bullying can be emotional, verbal or physical, with sexual abuse being the most serious form of exploitation. Bullying can be something as small as a snide remark that is consistently made, or as blatant as being “silenced” and/or humiliated in front of the congregation. Bullying can take the form of dominating the church business meeting, manipulating votes, or using Scripture to
oppress and silence the congregants. Regardless of how bullying raises its ugly head, it is not God-inspired or God-ordained and it definitely is not edifying to the Body of Christ. Barbara Coloroso, author of “The Bully, the
Bullied and the Bystander,” identifies three attitudes that allow people to harm others without feeling empathy, compassion, or shame. These attitudes include the liberty to exclude a person who isn’t deemed worthy of respect or care, intolerance for difference, and a sense of entitlement, which
includes the right to dominate others.1 When it comes to dealing with church
bullies, people are often instructed to “turn the other cheek” or to simply ignore that the negative situation ever existed. In addition, the victim of bullying may be told that they are making assump- tions about problems that may be mere figments of their imagination. Regardless of the opinion or suggested handling of church bullying, the fact remains, something has to be done to effectively rectify the problem. Therefore, what’s more “effective” in dealing with church bullies than the Word of God? Let’s see what the BIBLE has to say. . . . .
1. Never repay evil for evil. “Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. ‘I’ll do the judging,’ says God. ‘I’ll take care of it” (Romans 12:17-19 MSG).
2. Recognize the source of the bullying, but more importantly, the strength of your backup. “If anyone stirs up strife, it is not from me; whoever stirs up strife with you shall fall because of you. Behold, I have created the smith who blows the fire of coals and produces a weapon for its purpose. I have also created the ravager to destroy; no weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed, and you shall confute every tongue that rises against you in judgment. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord and their vindication from me, declares the Lord” (Isaiah 54:15-17 ESV).
3. Don’t be afraid of the challenge. “Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you” (Deuteronomy 31:6 MSG).
4. Remember that God has a place for all bullies. “But as for the cowards and the ignoble and the
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