New Lawyers Tip: Identifying The High Conflict Divorce/Custody Case And Thwarting The Potential For Parental Abduction© by Kristen M. Milardo
Kristen M. Milardo is an associate at the law firm of Bulman, Dunie, Burke & Feld, Chartered in Bethesda, Maryland. She is a member of MTLA and a board member of the MTLA’s New Lawyers Section. Her areas of practice include domestic relations, personal injury and general litigation.
It seems highly unlikely; but, in my
relatively short legal career, and in the span of one year’s time I have managed to be involved in two custody cases in which a parent took the child(ren) and disap- peared. In one case, I represented the parent who abducted the children and in the other I represented the parent left be- hind. In the first incident, my client took the children on his scheduled weekend visit and, much to our utter dismay and horror, left the country. The F.B.I. soon determined that our former client and the children flew from the United States to Switzerland and from Switzerland to the Middle East. For some unknown reason, the former client returned to the United States six weeks later with the children who were returned to the custodial par- ent without incident. In the second case, I represented the parent left behind. In that case, the mother was actually supervising a visit between the child and the father. The mother walked into a coffee shop briefly, leaving the father outside the shop with the child. The father immediately fled the area with the minor child. Father and child were found four days later in a ho- tel in Florida. His final destination or long term plans are still unknown. In both cases, it was fortunate that the
children were returned in relatively short order. Looking back on both cases, I now see indications, which may have foretold the potential problem. In both, the ab- ducting parent had ties overseas. Not every foreign-born parent will head for the border, but it is one of a variety of factors to which we must be alert, and, wherever possible, act in a manner that will protect our client and the children in their care and custody.
This writer believes that the higher the tension and animosity in a divorce/cus- tody case, the higher the probability one parent may attempt an abduction. The
Summer 2002
endeavor here is to provide the new prac- titioner with tools to identify the high conflict divorce case and recognize the circumstances that might lead to abduc- tion. Finally, I will offer some suggestions for provisions which may be included in any proposed Custody Order, which aim to keep the child in the United States and with the custodial parent.
The High Conflict Divorce/Custody Case
The high conflict case is always easy to spot at the end. It may take up an en- tire drawer in your filing cabinet and have an unprecedented volume of motions, pleadings and correspondence between parties. But how do you spot the high conflict case early? The best solution is to keenly observe the manner in which the parties present the issues of the case. In a high conflict case one or both par- ents may completely devalue the other parent or the need for the child to spend any time with the other parent. A party may openly attempt to sway the child to join his/her “camp” and actively interfere with the other party’s relationship with the child. There are often allegations of abuse (mental, physical, or sexual) leveled by both parties, making it difficult for all in- volved to decipher which, if any, of the allegations have merit. One party may advocate a winner takes all approach to litigation or a scorch and burn mentality with total disregard for the physical and emotional costs to the child or the other party. Finally, one or both parties may have “shopped” around for counsel and appear at your doorstep with a laundry list of attorneys who have been fired or have fired the client.1
1
Caught in the Middle, Carla B. Garrity, Mitchel A. Baris, Lexington Books, New York, 1994.
Trial Reporter
These factors may suggest behavior, which is impulsive and irrational, based on uncontrollable or misguided anger. This, however, is not an exhaustive list of such characteristics. The goal is to high- light some of the behaviors that trigger an increased awareness.
Indicators of Parental Kidnapping There are individuals who spend years
researching and studying people and their tendencies to exhibit particular behaviors. This brief article can in no way duplicate or cover in depth such studies. Instead, the information should be considered only as a quick guide or reference for the new practitioner to alert you to events, which might trigger closer scrutiny as you progress through your case. You may want to consider the following circumstances/ situations when evaluating your own case as they can indicate a parent is contem- plating an abduction, especially if one of these scenarios occurs in a high conflict case: 1. The younger the child the higher the probability that child is a candidate for abduction. The logic is simple. It is extremely cumbersome to convince an unwilling sixteen year old to come along quietly with you, leaving behind the other parent, friends, family and school. It is relatively easy for the ab- ducting parent to bundle up an eight-month-old baby and simply walk into the sunset without a whimper from the child.2
2. Look closely at the parent’s ties to a community. A parent that has no job, friends, religious community, or ties to
(Continued on page 26) 2
“Family Abductors: Descriptive Profiles and Preventative Interventions,” by Linda Girdner and Janet Johnston, Juvenile Justice Bulletin, January 2001.
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