trail rides from hell...how one non-hacker survived THE HORSE GAZETTE
By Ingrid Edisen, Part 2 of 3 The next summer we
headed for the Smokies--with all four trucks wired with CB radios. But in our truck alone we only could hear and not transmit--making us silent, but deadly. The trip started rocky
Performance
enough. We were pulling onto IH- 35 in Pflugerville when my husband and I got stuck in traffic and couldn’t make it onto IH 35. We heard the CB chatter among our friends... Where are they going? What hap- pened to them? I don’t see them anymore.
hosted in north Texas pastures and the horses picked up ticks. The next day one trailer began rocking vio- lently. An excitable Arabian mare had wrapped baling wire around her leg. We’d stored bales in the adjoin- ing slot of the side-by-side trailer. She kept kicking and tightening the wire. On the side of the highway somebody had cut her leg free while the rest of us tried to calm the mare as traffic whizzed by relentlessly. We quickly stopped at a gas station to hose her leg with its minor cuts. She was able to be ridden during the
band to pull over…as Greenhorns, we couldn’t back our trailer. We always had to find a cul-de-sac or parking lot to make 360’s. Our friends waited. Our first night we were
I screamed at my hus-
eled with had this dubious trick of changing drivers without pulling off the road. The driver would lift his or her pelvis, retaining a hold on the steering wheel while the relief driver would slip in underneath and the tired driver would slip over to the passenger seat. It’s a neat trick if you’re bold and skinny and young enough.
trip but twice a day had to have her wounds dressed. One couple we trav-
way got roller coaster treacherous. Over our CB you heard cursing and gasps of relief punctuating the twists and turns. Suddenly we pitched, rolled and stood on our brakes almost eating each other’s bumpers. My husband left our gas cap behind at a station so we stuck a rag in the opening making us a half- ton Molotov cocktail on wheels. As the third day of driv-
ing came to a close, one rig’s electri- cal system went bonkers and in the dusk its headlights began drunkenly crazy flashing. We cradled that rig in our line until we got to base camp.
In Tennessee the high-
lot of fox hunting experience, fell off the side of a long incline. She dove off her horse and the two of them tumbled down about 75 yards before they rose up and pulled themselves together.
up enough one day and did the fa- mous upside down roll off. Nobody had cell phones
My husband didn’t cinch
rained every day. Our saddles mil- dewed. All horses got grand thrush. One day half of our party left for a day trip and never made it back
Ah, the memories. It
grown over that we called them “the tunnels.” We didn’t get to see much of the surrounding mountains--just the famous blue haze and fog. Hik- ing New Yorkers speaking Brook- lynese and wearing spaceman-like backpacks made our horses shy. “Good day,” we’d call out just to get a response to help calm the horses. One of the guys tried to
drive to town pulling his rig. The
then--the nearest pay phone was 45 minutes away by horseback. These trails were so
nesters. They’d get pissed off by the time the fourth horse of our line tromped over them and come out in droves. One of us would yell “Bees!” We’d lift into a dead run. Everybody--horses and humans--got stung eventually. One woman, who had a
because of high water. They were marooned overnight at one of those raw caveman-like park cabins. Yellow jackets are ground
sparred like a multi-headed Hydra as they fought over the rails of their roughhewn slot stalls. One morning after mid-
to brave a trail ride together to the top of a ridge. As usual a thunderstorm set in. We pulled on our rain gear and realized up there about thirty percent of the trees had been struck by light- ning. We could only follow the trail to anywhere but here and pray we’d get down soon enough. At mealtime the horses
narrow park roads were moist and sand-soft. As he let another vehicle go by his trailer slid off the road. It cost him $150 to get a tow truck’s help. My husband and I decided
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ing, I grew increasingly suspicious of our food stores. We’d replenish our coolers with ice but got lazier as time went on. When we returned, everything reeked so badly that I called it the “pre-coffin smell.” Our one shower in Gatlinburg hadn’t been enough.
rode for much of our marriage but we never went on any huge trail rides again.
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