(get it? “post” legged…) And, if there happened to be a stallion on the premises to which the glassy-eyed trollop had access, it’s not as if she’s going to have either the where-with-all or the willpower to say:
“Sorry, but I’m waiting for Mr. Right.” No. Her response would go much more like this: “What the @#&! are you waiting for! I’ve got about 48 hours of unabashed, grab-Scot-out-of-a-sound-sleep screaming in me, so get on board before I kick the @#$! out of you.”
My favorite story that relates to this piece was told to
me by Dr. Albert Grass, our long-time and much-beloved vet who died recently. Doc’s passion was breeding and racing Standardbreds. He worked on and off the New England and New York tracks for years. Well, this one big farm out in N.Y. called him to drive out and give them his opinion of a situation. It seems that one of their clients had paid a hefty sum for one of the top young pacer mares, and sent her to this big N.Y. breeding farm to be bred and foaled out. When he got there, they took him to see the resulting “foal”. What Doc found was a long-eared, short-headed baby with lighter points and a short and
sharply-sloping croup. Doc said: “This is a mule.” It seems that this big operation kept a mini-jack in
their mare pasture to tease the girls and know when they were in heat…proximity at its best. How it happened? I’ll leave it to your imaginations. What the managers of this breeding farm told the guy who invested mucho mula in purchasing and breeding this mare…I’ll also leave to you. My guess is that it was an interesting conversation that directly involved a discussion about the effects of proximity of this mare’s particular breeding decision. Totilas be with you. Oh, yeah! That would be my idea
of proximity. I’d breed him to everything, including the goats and the Havanese.
WT Scot Tolman has
been breeding Dutch Warmbloods for the past 20 years at Shooting Star Farm in Southwestern New Hampshire. Read more of Scot’s writing at
shootingstarfarm.com.
82 March/April 2011
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