something in the paper that was thought provoking, raise it as a topic for discus- sion. If the kids are too young to explore big ideas, bring a children’s book to the table for discussion. Do whatever is nec- essary but DON’T come empty-handed to the table. It’s up to YOU to make the table worth coming to.


YOU must set the emotional tone of the Fri- day night dinner. If you want your children to cherish the Friday night tradition, make sure that your own table is associated with harmony and joy. DO NOT make the table a place of anger and tension. Some parents are so earnest in their desire to teach their children about Sabbath rituals that they poison the table with overly strict and neg- ative reactions. Let’s face it – kids spill their wine, wiggle and giggle during Kiddush, grab their challah greedily and fight with their siblings. While it is important for parents to teach proper decorum for the Friday night meal, they MUST find a way to do so without spoiling the whole expe- rience. Parental yelling, sarcasm, excessive


punishment and so on, should never grace the Friday night table.


Feeling upset with your spouse? Put it aside for Friday night. Kids will associate the Friday night table with trauma if they have to listen to their parent’s battle it out at that time. Make Friday night a sacred island of time where no fighting, arguing or bicker- ing is allowed.


Save the special treats and foods in your house for Friday night dinner. Tis way, the kids will come to remember Friday night as the very best time and as a special moment in their lives — every single week. Tese are just some ideas to help get you


started on creating an optimal Friday night experience. Keeping the goal in mind – to make Friday night wrap its warm, loving arms around your child’s heart – you’ll be able to come up with lots more.


fn Sarah Chana Radcliffe is a member of the


College of Psychologists of Ontario and the author of Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice.


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