He Said
Written by: Judson White I have a few questions for the fairer sex that I would like to
have answered. These are some of the things that I have dis- cussed with a few of my friends that we just don’t get. I’ve been very busy with work lately, but this doesn’t seem
to matter at all to the women in my life. Without fail, every time I’m about to do something important, whether it’s sitting down to eat a meal I just prepared, focusing intensely on a project that needs to be accomplished, enjoying my favorite TV show, or even using the little cowboys room - my phone will ring and it’s usually my mom, sister, or girlfriend. I actually began to keep data on this to prove my hypothesis that the women in my life don’t want me to experience my full amount of personal joy. Upon completion of my study, the shocking results revealed
that I was interrupted approximately two-thirds of the time while I was doing something important. Does this mean that I must adjust my personal enjoyment to a one-third quota? The more important question is how do the ladies in my life psychi- cally sense the times when taking a phone call would be least convenient, and then proceed to call at that exact time?! After discussing this issue with
friends, we realized that there might be more to the theory that women want to keep their men a little less happy. My friend revealed that he was with his girlfriend watching a three hour mara-
thon of the emasculating Keeping Up with the Kardashians, and when that was over he wanted to play PS3. His girl- friend immediately asked to do some- thing else because she didn’t want to “watch him play video games all day”, and then complained that they never get to hang out. That state- ment is amazing con- sidering that for the previous three hours they watched a tele- vision show that makes men want to drive white-hot train track spikes
into
their eyes to make the pain of America’s dumbest family stop, yet that goes completely unnoticed. Why?! Yet another impressive conundrum combines time, money,
work, and women. Men will never understand a woman’s abil- ity to completely confuse the heck out of all of us when it comes to allocating the correct amount of time to work, time to spend with them, and money to spend on them. Every man will agree that the ladies in their lives want them to work less and spend more time with them. However, they also gifts bought for them on occasion, and they love to be taken out to dinner and some nightlife. All these things require money and time, so a man is expected to work less to have more time for them, but some- how still have more money to spend at the same time. This is very hard for men to understand, probably because it doesn’t make any sense. So, please ladies, enlighten me!
She Said
Written by: Brooke Herron I hate to break it to your ego, but the things that you men-
tioned – working, eating, watching TV and using the “little cow- boys” room – are basic daily activities. I find it hard to believe that your phone ringing during these times has a huge impact on your happiness. That’s like saying, “You called when my favorite song was on the radio. And then I couldn’t hear it!” Please, He Said. Let me call the waaaambulance for you. I think that I have a fair amount of insight into this “phone is
ringing” travesty. First, I would like to submit that (most) women do not have ESP. We don’t know if you’re doing something “important” like watching television. Conversely, do you think that we’re not busy when you call? Yes, we are. But we make the time and answer your call because we love you and like to know how your day is going. Note: cell phones are equipped with a “silent” function. You can ignore a poorly timed call and just get back to us when it’s more convenient to talk. Or text and say you’re busy. Not a big deal. Why don’t you include friends, clients or other family mem-
All I Know is that I Don't Know...
bers in this “annoying and stealing my happiness” query? Don’t they cause you profound annoyance when they call you during times of “great importance”? Or do you welcome their calls? Just wondering… Let’s move on to your next question.
Do women want men to be unhappy? Wow, you busted us on this one. Short
was he sitting on the couch enjoying every minute of the drama? I don’t think you’re telling the whole story because I happen to also know the “friend” in question and, coincidentally, we once watched several
answer – “No.” Now, let’s examine your Keeping Up with the Kardashians argu- ment. Did your friend suggest a differ- ent activity while the show was on? Or
episodes of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. No complaints. I’m guessing that he might actually enjoy the shenanigans of the Kardashian clan! Not every male gets a rash while watch-
spend time with their men. It’s safe to say that most women can swallow regular work schedules – we clock in and clock out daily, just the same as you. Perhaps you’re thinking of men who may have more demanding jobs than most? Then I can understand your concern, and women who date men with demanding sched- ules probably would enjoy a little more one-on-one. Bottom line, everyone is busy. We all have different demands to meet daily. Yes, women in relationships still like to be treated to “dates”. Who doesn’t? But I think you’re taking it too far when you claim women don’t understand that you have to make money to spend money. We get it. Gestures from the men in our life don’t have to cost a fortune to make us happy. A conscious effort to spend more time together off your work schedule, and take into account that she has one as well goes a long way – and everyone will be hap- pier. How do I know this? Because it isn’t just all about you, He Said!
ing television shows targeting a female audience. The bottom line? If your girl- friend asks you to participate in a less than desirable activity, compromise. Will your life end if you watch 30 minutes of mind numbing TV? That’s doubtful, although you might lose a couple of brain cells. Guys, please keep this in mind when you subject the lady in your life to Mythbusters or to endless reruns about rebuilding antique cars. It’s a two-way street. Finally, the work-time-money-women issue. Yes, the majority of women want to
PULSE MAGAZINE ---------- 53
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72 |
Page 73 |
Page 74 |
Page 75 |
Page 76