THE WEIRS TIMES’ 2010 HOLIDAY WISHBOOK — Published Thursday, December 2, 2010 Formerly & Everywhere! RFD# to the gulf stream waters 3 to the New York Island by Lorrie Baird And So The Holiday Begins by Lorrie Baird


“This is like my worst anxiety dream ever,” I de- clared to my husband. “Family is coming for our first Thanksgiving dinner in the new house and it looks like terrorists trashed the place!” (New flooring was being installed and the timing couldn’t have been worse.) “It’s not that bad,” Jim feebly attempted to rea- son. “Our leather sectional


is strewn about the la- nai. Our kitchen island is upside down in the living room. We have to negoti- ate towers of furniture to get to our bedroom door. And we can engrave our names in the inch of con- struction dust that is in every nook and cranny of this house!” Jim stretched lazily and yawned, “You exagger- ate.” “The silverware in the


DRAWER is dusty Jim!” “It’ll get done.” Jim’s “don’t worry, be happy” attitude is aggra-


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vating when I have a hissy going. Then again, it’s easy for him to be optimistic be- cause every time he pledg- es his allegiance to help me, when push comes to shove, Jim manages to disappear when I need him


ing that now?” “Because I can?” Go figure. I’m stressing


about getting ready for the holiday and my husband breaks out with symptoms of senior ADD. I shoved the cleaning stuff back in


Go figure. I’m stressing about getting ready for the holiday


and my husband’ breaks out with symptoms of senior ADD.


the most. After over four decades, I’m on to him. So I asked him for help


cleaning the master bath. As predicted, Jim vapor- ized. He materialized in the kitchen talking to the floor installers about full- time RVing. I flashed him the evil eye. He flashed me a guilty grin and grabbed the cleaning bottle. Ten minutes later he’s gone again. This time I find him out in the garage. “What are you doing?” “Getting the moldings


laid out for installation.” “But we’re not even go-


ing to have time to install them, so why are you do-


his hands and nudged him toward the bathroom. The next time I looked up


Jim was standing outside in the yard. “NOW what are you doing?” “The dogs whined to go


out,” he said defensively. “What are you, the Ge- stapo?” “Jim, you just spent a


half hour chatting up our neighbor.” “So? We have plenty of


time.” “We have less than twen-


ty-four hours to get this house in order and land a soup-to-nuts holiday din- ner on the table. Just who do you think is going to do


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all that Jim? The last time I looked a fulltime maid and cook was not in the budget!” “Somebody needs a hug,”


Jim said just about the same time I shoved a mop at him and declared that I need help, not hugs. You know, Jim’s right


about one thing. The house will be clean by the time


N


eed a holiday gift idea for the reader on your list?


our family arrives. Dinner will get on the table and our family will have little to no inkling of my pre- holiday stress. So many things change


with retirement. The fact that women all over the world work the hardest to make the holidays a suc- cess for their family is not one of them.


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