Breaking Through—The “Ah-ha!” Moment
I was shocked at myself, and full of guilt. I wanted to die. I started to question my integrity, my spirit, my ability to be a good mother— even my right to be a parent and partner. By southern standards, I had made the biggest mistake of my life. In trying to rediscover myself, I had squandered my freedom. What would I do? Where would I go? How would I live? Would my family leave me? What would everyone think of me? What did I think of me? This, the most traumatic moment of my life, also became the most transformative moment of my life. I knew I had to be bold, honor my feelings, and tell the truth. I had to take responsibility and move forward. I couldn’t make anyone wrong, not even me. I had to embrace the uncertainty of what was to come, and own my Rebel Belle. Realizing that I needed support, I enrolled in counseling for the
sixth time. My counselor instructed me to purchase a book called The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra. For the first time ever, I was introduced to a concept called “life purpose.” It gave me hope and direction, and compelled me to follow my heart, live my purpose, and make my mark on the world boldly, uniquely, and on my terms. The book also taught me to embrace uncertainty. I was getting ready to leave my marriage, and I had no idea how I was going to take care of myself. But I knew that if I followed my heart and purpose, expressed my truth, and trusted my inner power, I would be upheld. In my boldest self-expression yet, I announced my newfound freedom to my now ex-husband and left twenty years of The Perfect Southern Lifestyle behind. It was scary at first, but I trusted my heart. Children in tow, I set out on my own, firmly believing that, “When Mama is happy, everyone is happy.” Owning my power and sharing my truth was a powerful thing. It freed the energy for all of us to heal. That tumultuous period of my life was where I did my best work.
I realize now that there was never anything to push or rebel against, only the opportunity to wake up to my truth and own my Rebel Belle. Today, I have an amazing life, amazing children, and an amazing relationship with my ex-husband. All of these things were built on the foundations of freedom, truth, and bold self-expression. When that
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