“I’ve been approached on the street and had grown men get up in my face and tell me to mind my own business and that I’m just desperate for attention,” said Ms. DiMitri. “The last thing I want is fame or anything like that, but if I don’t keep talking about it, nothing will ever change.”
And Ms. DiMitri, who admits that re-telling the story of when her ex-boyfriend beat her about the face and head still sickens her, isn’t the only one who has dealt with backlash.
“I was working a fund-raiser (for Fearless Females) and some guy came up to me and asked if his girlfriend would win the basket raffle if he punched her in the face,” said Ms. Mitchell, a survivor of abuse herself. “Some people don’t understand how hurtful they can be.”
The lack of support from community organizations and organizers, however, has been shocking.
“We lost the space at the College of Staten Island’s Bertha Harris Women’s Center when I graduated in June of 2009,” said Ms. DiMitri. “But they didn’t tell me right away, and two weeks before graduation, I was left scrambling to find a place.”
Having to shut down the group, even for a few weeks, would shatter the progress of many attendees and keep others from ever coming back, believed the founder.
At the 11th hour, John Tabacco, then running for the North Shore City Council seat, offered his campaign office off Bay Street for Fearless Females to use.
It was dark, damp and the roof leaked, but there were folding chairs and tables. So the group made do. But when his campaign run neared an end, the group was again homeless.
It was a chance meeting with a staffer from the office of state Sen. Diane Savino (D-North Shore/Brooklyn) on a Community Growth Opportunities cruise that helped Ms. DiMitri, who was being honored, to her new home.
“A few weeks after the cruise, Diane called me and offered us a safe, secure space on the North Shore, and we’ve been there ever since,” she said. “Thank god.”
Funding, however, has been harder to come by.
Tabacco and World of Women founder Pat Caltabiano have helped financially in the past, but without constant support, Fearless Females has been scraping by.
“I’ve spent thousands of dollars of my own money on this group over the years,” said Ms. DiMitri. “I do it because I love it and this group is important, but I just can’t do all the things that I’d like to do without additional help.”
Hopes of creating a national organization out of Fearless Females – one with case workers, therapists, emergency funding and access to safe houses – have become bleaker.
Police officers, lawyers, therapists and self-defense experts have donated time and knowledge, but launching programs and sponsoring events isn’t cheap.
Ms. DiMitri is currently working on a documentary about the struggles women and men face when coping with domestic violence, but cannot edit the tape, as it will likely cost over a thousand dollars to put together.
She is also in the process of compiling a comprehensive step program and tip sheet, one that will be reviewed by experts in the legal, counseling and health care fields, for those suffering from domestic violence about how to escape the situation.
But mass producing the informational packets, once finished, seems financially impossible. In the coming months, Fearless Females will attempt to generate some needed support with fund-raising events at North Shore night-spots.
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