New marksman at the Valley


CHARLTON Athletic’s latest signing has been an instant hit, unfortunately for the foxes that had invaded the stadium. Bruce Lindsay-Smith, a sharp shooting pest controller, was called in to cull the animals which had been causing damage and posing a health risk at the Valley. He was asked to deal with the foxes when they threatened to devastate the club’s sprinkler system and pitch. The animals were caught in traps last month but were set free by a contractor working at the ground. This ‘educated’ the foxes about cages and they had to be picked off in the dead of night using a rifle with infrared technology. Mr Lindsay-Smith said: “We had tried to catch them with traps and they were going to be taken to a country park in greater London.” “Groundsmen were finding up to 20 6 inch deep holes around the Valley turf on match days. “I had to undertake a night-time culling programme” he said. “It involved eight foxes.”


The foxes posed a health and safety risk to families coming to watch Addicks matches, because they left droppings and urine all over the stadium. He said: “It was unfortunate that this do-gooder who released the foxes thought he was doing them a favour. He actually signed their death warrant. It was through their stupidity and not knowing what might happen that they had to be killed. They would have devastated the place by digging up the pitch and causing hundreds of thousands of pounds damage to an expensive sprinkler system” he said. A Charlton Athletic spokeswoman said the recurrence of severe damage to the pitch and the sprinkler system meant the club sought advice from Greenwich council, which said lethal injection or shooting the foxes was advisable. She added: “The club is aware of the sensitivity of the issue and will review the policy at its next board meeting.”


Forward MARCH 2006


1st - Amenity Forum Conference -‘‘The Weed and Pest Control Challenge’, Edgbaston - (www.bcpc.org)


Wembley consultants help Reds?


ONCE upon a time there was a Red rowing team. This Red team agreed to hold an annual race against the Green team. Each team would contain 8 men. Both teams trained really hard and, come the day of the race, both were up for winning. The Green team won by 1 mile.


The Red team were crushed by such a heavy defeat and swore that they would win next year’s race. So they established a panel of auditors to observe the situation and discover if there were any differences between the two teams. After several weeks of detailed intelligence gathering they could find only one difference. The Green team had 7 rowers and 1 captain whilst the Red team had 1 rower and 7 captains. Unperplexed by the raw data, upper management showed unexpected wisdom - they hired a team of consultants to analyse the data and suggest a solution that would enable the Red team to win next year’s race. After several months the consultants came to the conclusion that the ratio of rowers to captains was the Red team’s problem. Based on this analysis the structure of the Red team had to be changed.


in restructuring the Red team into 4 captains, led by 2


Sean Connery


(Famous James Bond Character) •


Temperatures have been cold and dry this January •


The John Smith’s Grand National this year will be held on 6,7 and 8th April 2006


Upper management wasted no time


managers, reporting to a senior director ... with a dotted line to the rower!


unrestricted inspiration, they suggested they might be inclined to improve the working environment of the rower by a non-monetary reward and recognition scheme if there was improved performance by the rower. Next year the Green team won by two miles! The Red team management immediately sacked the rower for his unsatisfactory performance. A bonus was paid to the captains, the managers and the director for the strong leadership they showed during the preparation stage and as an incentive to find a better rower for the next race.


The consultants prepared a new analysis of the restructuring activity, which showed that the strategy was good, the motivation was great, the restructuring was executed correctly but the tool used (not included in the original data) was substandard and had to be improved. Currently the Red team is having a new boat designed and, to demonstrate fiscal and HR dexterity for stockholders, they outsourced the rowing to India.


Besides that, in a blaze of


1st to 2nd - GCSAI Annual Conference, Galway (www.gcsai.org/annualconference.html)


14th-17th - Cheltenham Festival, Cheltenham


28th - Drainage seminar, Lanhydrock Golf Club, Cornwall (www.pitchcare.com/calendar)


29th - Drainage seminar, Cannington College, Somerset (www.pitchcare.com/calendar)


30th - Drainage seminar, University of Bristol Sports Ground, Coombe Dingle (www.pitchcare.com/calendar)


APRIL 2006 1st - FA Women’s Cup Final, Millwall


6th-9th - US Masters, Augusta (www.masters.org)


7th to 11th - IOG Conference, Watford (www.iog.org)


8th - The John Smith Grand National, Aintree (www.aintree.co.uk)


9th - Powergen Cup Final, Twickenham (www.rfu.com) MAY 2006


3-5 - Sports Turf Summit 2006, Munich (www.stadiaexpo.com)11th to 15th - England v Sri Lanka -1


1st npower Test at Lord’s (www.cricketworld.com)


13th - FA Cup Final, Millennium Stadium (www.millenniumstadium.com)


23rd to 27th - RHS Chelsea Flower Show (www.rhs.org.uk/chelsea/2006/index.asp) 25th to 29th - England v Sri Lanka -2


2nd


npower Test at Edgbaston (www.cricketworld.com)


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THINKING DATES FOR YOUR DIARY


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