She Said by Brooke Herron
He Said by Judson White
"I'm not arguing with you, I'm just trying to have a discussion." Communication is one of the most important factors in
When I hear these words, all I can think is, "Great, here we go creating a long and lasting relationship. If I'm interested in
again!" There is nothing more annoying then when your girlfriend having a relationship with a man, the ability to talk, argue, fight
decides that she wants to talk about something serious, but you and cry with one another is important. Life isn't easy. When
know that it's a topic that will inevitably turn into an argument. something is upsetting me, I want to talk about it and get it out
There is no safe way to approach this scenario without putting of the way. Otherwise it builds up until ten more things annoy me
yourself in the position of saying something that you will regret. and then, sir, you have an argument. If you're doing something
I have no problem keeping the lines of that hurts my feelings or makes me mad, I'm going
communication open. I try very hard to to tell you. Not only am I going to tell you, I'm
always be available to discuss key factors in going to try to figure out why you're doing it in the
Did You Say
keeping a relationship healthy. But there are first place and how it can be resolved. See? In
times when I feel like I'm being led into an this case, guys, I'm like you: numero uno problem
argument, and the best reaction for me is to solver.
Something?
mimic an ostrich confronted with danger. I What screws up my amazing conflict resolu-
bury my head in the sand and don't move; in tion skills is when the man in ques-
other words, I just sit there and listen. I don't tion will not communicate. Period.
allow myself to get angry and try to argue my Did you hear that? Nope, me nei-
point. Considering how hot-headed I am, if I ther, because he's turned into a
were to stand up for myself, I would be sleeping mute. I don't know about everyone
on the couch in no time. else, but when I say I want to talk,
This isn't a cowardly move. At work I have that's really what I want to do. Not
no problem yelling and screaming at people all fight, not argue, a light debate at the
day long, but at work I'm the boss and people most. There is something bothering
have to fall in line if they want to keep their pay- me and I want it fixed. Not respond-
check. Men are completely different at home ing WILL make me mad and will
because we don't want to get into trouble. In my lead to an argument, albeit a one-
opinion, men can talk about being king of the sided one. (Helpful tip: Not talking
castle, but our ladies reign supreme. at all just makes you look guilty,
It gets under my girlfriend's skin when I'm in ostrich mode and which just validates my hurt feelings.)
not responding to her. What I am doing is listening to what she has Men tend to run and hide whenever a "real" issue arises.
to say, and trying to figure out what I can do to please her in the Talk about your crappy day at work? Sure. Discuss the merits of
future by paying more attention to the things she says that I'm Bud Light versus Coors Light? You betcha. Delve into any sub-
neglecting. She may get mad at me that night, but I have heard her ject that goes beyond the normal banter and you're hunting
say that she is surprised that I have actually taken the initiative to ostriches. Maybe it has something to do with the way men and
correct what was bothering her. women are raised. As women, we are taught to express our
I also listen to the things that I find ridiculous and try to show emotions while most men are taught to hide theirs. Maybe men
restraint, because even though these "discussions" are few and far just don't want to argue with women because they know it's a los-
between, they usually occur when I'm trying to go to sleep, and I ing battle - either because they know they're wrong or because
love to sleep in my own bed. they know they'll pay for it somehow anyway. Hell hath no fury
and all that…
Another thing - maybe I'm wrong. You obviously have not
THE BEST
considered this, because women are always right, HA! Are you
RELATIONSHIP
really letting it slide? Because if you do, I'm just going to keep
believing whatever it is - and keep getting mad about it - until you
ENHANCEMENT
right the situation. I can take constructive criticism, in fact, I
PARTIES IN
appreciate it. Let me know when I'm being ridiculous. Sometimes
it's difficult to take a hard look at yourself and your actions, but to
COLLIER make a change for the better, it's necessary.
Athena’s By Wendy
& LEE COUNTIES
Bottom line: You can't have a healthy relationship without
open communication. You can't have one-sided arguments and
Wendy Ihrig
hope that the other partner will notice and change their behavior.Book a party &
239-248-6655
receive FREE You can't hide from difficult discussions because you're afraid that
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www.athenashn.com/1071
Place an order of
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PULSE MAGAZINE ---------- 67
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