THE WEIRS TIMES, Thursday, January 7, 2010
5
A
FOOL
*
Live Free
in
NEW HAMPSHIRE
or Die.
brendan@weirs.com
*A FLATLANDER’S OBSERVATIONS ON LIFE
PredictiOns FO r 2010
by Brendan smith
Weirs Times Editor
Barack Obama will vision drug commercials. will taste delicious lightly much attention to it.
break the record for most The biggest selling point broiled with lemon, pars-
speeches given by a Presi- will be a bonanza of side ley and just a hint of tur- Well, that’s about all
I’m a bit late with my dent in his first term. And effects. meric. I have for this year, my
predictions for 2010 and he’ll still have three years head’s starting to hurt
I apologize. to go. The newest cell phone Time travel will be per- and my hand is begin-
Usually when I’m under will hit the market. The fected. ning to cramp and the
the gun on the deadline In an attempt to clear designers will have in- traffic is starting to get a
I’ll text message my col- his image, Tiger Woods stalled hundreds of new The newest online social bit heavy.
umn from my cell phone will legally change his applications but then network “InYourFace” will
while speeding down I-93. name to Tiger Wouldnt. will have a massive recall appear. Social network See you in a couple of
It helps keep my mind oc- when they realize the one enthusiasts will applaud weeks.
cupied during the long Environmental scien- thing you can’t do with it this new venue for people
stretches of highway. tists, thrown into tur- is actually make a phone to share mundane and Brendan Smith wel-
It’s January 1st, and I moil by the recent “Global call. boring parts of their day- comes your comments at
can’t do that anymore. Warming” hoax implica- to-day existence. brendan@weirs.com.
So, I found my legal pad tions, will concede that Thousands will march
under the car seat after the earth is really only on Washington to protest Time Travel will be
minutes of searching, “lukewarming” and that marches on Washington. taxed.
dug a couple of pens out it is caused by French
of the glove box and wrote Fries. The Mets will win the A famous celebrity will
it all in longhand. World Series. (Hey, every do something stupid and
So, what does my crys- Rosie O’Donnell will ac- little bit helps.) we will all pay far too
tal ball tell me? tually shut her mouth for
four minutes on August A new cable network
Due to a near terrorist 16th. will premiere - The “Read
TONY FALLON ARCHITECTURE
attack on an airplane by A Book” network. As soon
a radical Islamic funda- A new sitcom “Congress” as you turn it on your
mentalist who secretly will be debut. It will be a TV will shut off for one
COMMERCIAL
dreamed of being a bal- light-hearted, laugh-a- hour.
lerina, everyone board- minute romp about the
RESIDENTIAL
ing an airline will now goings on in the House of A resurgence of “Whine
be made to attempt to Representatives. A wacky Flu” will hit. Otherwise
perform a pirouette. cast of characters will known as “Yme2” this
make you laugh until it contagious diseases
501 Barn Door Gap, Strafford, New Hampshire 03884-6233
The New Hampshire hurts as they find a new spreads quickly and is
PH: 603.269.3206 • FX: 425.940.5829 • www.TonyFallon.com
House and Senate will way each week to send passed from person to
give us a whole bunch of our country further down person through depress-
new taxes and create a the toilet. ing verbal interaction.
slew of new laws. (Hey, There is no known cure
that’s an easy one.) The FDA will approve the for those who have it but
new drug “Whataboutme- can best be avoided by
There will be a once-in- botrol” for people who feel wearing earplugs.
a lifetime meteorological left out because they don’t
event in July but it will be suffer from any of the ail- A new species of aquatic
overcast that day. ments advertised on tele- life will be discovered. It
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