THE WEIRS TIMES, Thursday, January 7, 2010
23
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From the redwood forest...
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Formerly
RFD
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to the New Y
ork Island
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,

T
h
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r
& Everywhere!
From California...
to the gulf stream waters by Lorrie Baird jim-lorrie@earthlink.net
i mi s s mY Fr i e n d …
Bu t wh O ’s cO m P l a i n i n g ?
by lorrie Baird
them up and hand them If I can’t have my me- it is. exercise: I’ve never felt
back to me. On Mondays tabolism back I’ll settle Wiser women than me better or stronger in my
The year 2010 will be I also take two hours of for a dose of testosterone. have warned that my me- entire life. So my me-
all the more challeng- line dancing lessons. But that comes with, uh, tabolism would become tabolism has gone south
ing because of the un- a conscientious objector along with various and
timely demise of a life- in the war on cellulite sundry body parts…I can
long friend. This friend when I passed the sixth live with that.
has been with me since
If I can’t have my metabolism
decade mark and I didn’t Every day of this New
I downed my first baby
back I’ll settle for a dose of
want to believe it. Now I Year is a gift and ev-
bottle and kept me daily testosterone. know the sobering truth, ery day that we are well
company. Slowly…almost so what am I going to do and happy makes it a
imperceptibly at first… about it? priceless “present”…and
my friend began to drift Keep on keeping on, that’s enough for me.
away. In the beginning I I go to Curves at least certain side effects for a that’s what.
hardly noticed. And then three times a week, we lady and I spend entire Okay, so the tummy
I awoke recently to a ter- go dancing every Friday too much time plucking poof is there…but there’s
rible realization. night, and in between unwanted body hair as a positive side to all this
My metabolism has I’ve either biked fifteen
kicked the bucket. Ka- miles or have pumped
put. Gonzo. Packed its out a minimum of 20
bags and deserted me. In floors on the StairMas-
its stead I have a stub- ter and at least a mile
born roll of belly fat that at a high fat-burning
reminds me every day pace on the treadmill at
that the dearly departed the Fitness Center here
is no longer with me. at Belle Parc. I also lift
And I can’t get it back. weights…but does that
It’s not as if I don’t make a modicum of dif-
try. ference with the upper
At age 62 I am doing arm wings that still flap
four times the exercise I in the breeze?
did at 30-something with Not since my metabo-
a fourth of the results. lism punched out.
Take this Monday for in- In contrast, if Jim
stance. I started the day spends fifteen minutes
out with a fitness class in the Fitness Center he
that consists of at least calls it “exercise.” Guess
three miles of fitness who can eat whatever he
training. On Monday it wants and guess which
was kick boxing. This one gains five pounds
was followed by a visit just walking past a do-
to Curves. As I pounded nut shop? That would
around the Curves’ cir- be me. Why?...because
cuit the manager noted Jim’s metabolism is still
my high energy level. I among the living. Appar-
told her that when my ently, metabolism feeds
legs fall off just pick on testosterone.
Breakheart Tool Co.
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