THE COVENANTER
to give it a second thought. He was still About six weeks into the course there was a
seriously catholic though and never missed long weekend when everybody who wasn’t
confession or mass if at all possible, could too far away went home or up to London.
go at the Latin like an old Irish priest and My long barrack room was almost empty
observed all the obligations like Lent and so and then I met Sams’ mate, another Para Sgt
on. He had also managed to get quite a few who was posted in Hythe as an instructor at
minor crimes and few instances of assault the Infantry Signals place. It turned out that
and affray under his belt ( as well as a lot of they were both members of the Parachute
fornication.) Regt Team that did demonstration jumps at
Air shows and so on.
He was up for anything really, a bit of Freeefall jumping was in its infancy then,
shoplifting, not taxing or insuring his car, but these two were right into it and Sams’
minor punchups etc. It was all to go down mate had brought four deployed parachutes
as life experience since he fully intended to to repack since the long wooden floor of
be a priest when he left the Army. I told the room was ideal. I had no idea that
him it was a great excuse but I didn’t think people actually packed their own chutes but
it would stand up in court and I thought once the floor was carefully swept I got a
he was putting it on a bit until a few weeks demonstration of exactly how it was done
later when we went down to the self service and how the ripcord and spring released the
Laundromat place in town to get our combat drogue which pulled out the main chute.
clothing washed. He charmed the lady in One of the chutes was a square panelled
charge of the place into doing it for us and thing which had been brought especially
we went into the cafe next door to wait for from America, apparently it was the last
the stuff to be washed and dried. The cafe word in technology then but nowadays its
was one of those places with old fashioned just what everybody uses. I thought these
high back to back booths along one wall. He parachutes were just being packed to be
began fidgeting about like sliding forward in handed back to stores but they belonged
his seat and scrabbling about with his legs to Sam and his mate and they intended to
under it. I wondered what the hell he was use them that Sunday at some airfield in
doing until he reached down and came up Kent somewhere as the sport jumpers of
with a ladies handbag which he opened and the Paras sometimes got the use of a plane
proceeded to search through. I thought he’d which advertised Rothmans cigarettes at Air
found a bag someone had forgotten or lost shows and County Fairs. It was suggested
but then he took out the purse, emptied it, I might like to come along with them and
put it back in the bag and slid the bag back they could even give me a chute so that I
onto the floor under the table. could have a go at the greatest sport on
earth. It would be dead easy because they
All this went on as though I wasn’t there, not would arrange it so that the chute opened
a word was spoken nor did he even look automatically as soon as I was clear of the
my way. It finally dawned on me that there plane and all I had to do was try not to
were two women in the booth behind them break a leg on landing.and “Hey, Whats a
and they had put their bags on the floorat broken leg anyway”
their feet.He had either done this kind of
thing before or felt the bag with his feet. In Naturally I thought this was all a great
any case he managed to snag one and pull wind up. Nobody in charge of the Paras
it through to his side without the woman was going to let me anywhere near a plane
noticing anything. I’ll bet that woman with kit on or even on their premises, but I
never figured out how she managed to lose did fancy a day out watching these loonies
the money out of her purse which had been jump out of planes with their carelessly
in her bag and never out of her possession. (I thought) packed parachutes. So on the
I said I needed to go out and buy cigarettes Sunday morning we were off to the airfield
and was out of there post haste. ThenI in Sams Mini, me stuffed in the back with
went back to the Laundromat. When the the parachutes and Sams’ friend driving. It
bold Sam came to collect his washing he was just as well I could hardly see the road
then managed to con the lady in charge as we broke every speed limit and rule of the
into letting us pay half price for the service. road on the way.
The incident of the bag was never even
mentioned. It just sort of never happened. I got a bit off a shock when we arrived at the
place because it was no kind of military or
53
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