THE COVENANTER
enough to give you a headache yet when he page. I don’t know what he was doing in
had to stand up before us and take a class he the army because he had exceptional artistic
couldn’t say a word. When the instructor talent and a great knowledge of the history
said “ Cpl Silver will now explain and and practice of heraldry.
demonstrate the GPMG to the class”. He’d
get up and go to the table but when he tried Finally there was the one who became
to speak not a word came out, he’d just make my mate during the course and he was a
strangulated noises and his face would get sergeant in the Parachute Regiment name of
more and more red, then his hands would Sam We had already been put in our squads
start to shake and a tic would begin at the at the time of the weapon handling test
side of his eye. As soon as the instructor during induction and to be honest he only
told him to sit down words of apology would just scraped through which I thought was a
pour out in a torrent. We tried everything bit strange for a Para but he said he was the
with him, not looking at him when he was Bn Signal Sgt and only ever handled a Nine
trying to get started, having him stand side Millimetre Browning.
on to us so he didn’t have to look at us which proved to be true enough when
directly, even taking turns in the evening we finally got hold of this weapon he
listening to him take a lesson. It was all to was an expert with it. He was in the bed
no avail though. As soon as he in the class next to mine and for the first few days we
it all fell apart. He was eventually RTU, the didn’t have much conversation but on the
staff reckoned since no one could observe Saturday evening when he came back from
him taking lessons there was no way they the showers and was getting dressed he said
could assess his ability as an instructor. A to me “You’d better get a move on or we’ll
great pity because his weapon handling be late.” I was a bit nonplussed at this then
and knowledge was excellent and he was he said “We will need to be at the chapel
probably fine when dealing with before seven o’clock for confession.”
his own men.
Then there was a Sgt of the Devon and It was not the first time I had been mistaken
Dorset Regiment, a real Farmer Giles type for a member of the catholic faith because
who spoke so slowly and in an unintelligible of the name given to me at adoption and
accent that not only did nobody understand when I explained he said well I could come
him but by the time he had explained how down the town with him and we could go
to load a magazine we were all struggling to for a pint after he had done his bit. I didn’t
stay awake. really drink much and certainly not on the
We had Cpl of Italian extraction with one scale that Paras are reputed to think of as
those Italian names with a lot of “Cs” normal but I didn’t want to turn down a
and “Hs” in it, pretty hard to pronounce friendly offer. Once we got intoThe White
so we just called him Dicky. This one was Swan I said I was a bit surprised at a Para
a real wide boy; always on the make and rushing off to chapel on a Saturday evening.
in pursuit of money. His regiment was in Paras are not normally known for religious
barracks at Colchester so his CO was taking zeal. He told me that from the age of fifteen
the opportunity to get as many of his men to eighteen he was in a seminary training
on courses as possible therefore a lot of his to become a priest and one day they were
comrades were at Hythe. He was the only taken to London to visit St Pauls Cathedral
one who had a car and could go home at after which they were let loose for the
weekends so his mates of course asked him afternoon.
for a lift. It was only a small car but he could
cram three in the back and one in the front He was walking down the Kings Road in
but instead of just asking them to chip in for Chelsea ogling the girls in their miniskirts
the petrol he was charging them One pound when it came into his mind that he couldn’t
ten shillings each thereby ensuring that he go and be a priest dealing with the problems
got a free trip home and a nice little profit and confessions of his parishioners if he
to boot. had no idea what life outside the priesthood
was like or what it felt like to get drunk,
Another one was a serjeant in the Green commit crime or fornicate. He especially
Jackets and his hobby was heraldry. He used liked the bit about fornication. Being across
to sit at night drawing and painting heraldic the road from the Kings Road Barracks at
devices into an art book and filling in all the the time he just waltzed in there and found
details in beautiful calligraphy on the facing himself in Aldershot before he had time
52
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