THE COVENANTER
members “as a present for each other”. This league was such, he feared, as to make
was done with a buffer, a device about the a suspension “sine die” pronounced in
size and weight of a manhole cover on a Scotland “sin dye” which makes it sound
pole, by the B.R.O. (barrack room orderly) more awful, the inevitable outcome. This
of the day, who had to take care to avoid would make his dream of a Celtic career, an
scraping or marking the wooden surround impossibility.
lest he find himself charged with having
“idle skirting boards” to his eternal shame. We discussed the incident of the previous
Saturday in some detail and my resultant
Weeks passed. Everyone was exhausted- plea in mitigation on his behalf would
all the time. The same regime and diet have wrung a tear from a plaster saint. It
contrived to build up the puny ones while evidently worked with St. Vincent de Paul
slimming down the burly ones, and to keep and his committee, since two weekends
everyone fed rather than fed up, although later he returned jubilant with the news of
the comfort of a double egg and double chips an admonition and a one-match ban.
in the NAAFI was universally enjoyed.
The squad was now operating as a unit,
Although in each barrack room the strong helping each other. When it fell to us to
characters emerged, the odd bullying mount a weekend guard practically no one
moment was swiftly dampened down by went on guard wearing all his own kit.
the conciliators, while the quiet chaps got Instead those on parade had the best belts,
on with things and people began to help, brasses, boots, rifle slings and scabbards
and seek help from, others. which the entire squad could assemble.
No faults were found and the guard was
One late night, totally exhausted and already commended.
asleep in an almost totally darkened barrack
room I was shaken awake by the chap who Everyone knew their “room-jobs” and how
was steadily emerging into his chosen to operate the rota so although the room
intimidatory role as the squad’s resident corporal Peter Coyle was himself so diligent
“hard man”. “What” I asked wearily “do that he lay, writing out a new room jobs
you want?” “How do you spell” “especially?” rota in a shaky hand even as he was being
he asked “Write it down for me” I did, and stretchered off to the sick bay and thence
went back to sleep. But word got out and to hospital with a bad attack of recurring
over the next few evenings as chaps wrote malaria, it proved unnecessary since
home more spellings were requested, forms everyone knew what had to be done – and
of expression were elicited and protestations did it.
of undying love were articulated by me,
through them, to a bevy of Lanarkshire and Without being noticed, esprit-de-corps had
Glasgow beauties I was destined never, alas, come up behind and caught the squad by
to meet. surprise. Suddenly it was a unit and the
men in it recognised what the training was
My old Uncle Tom, a Seaforth Highlander about and what had happened to them.
in WW1, had warned me about, and
about becoming a “barrack-room lawyer” Soon the passing out parade came and went,
and counselled me to avoid the very idea. with all its individual, team and squad prizes
A barrack-room solicitor or scribe was won and handed out.
something else and I soon found myself
composing and occasionally actually A few days leave and back they all came,
writing letters to people other than chaps to learn of their postings. Aside from a
‘girlfriends’, the crowning moment being couple to Eaton Hall and one or two special
reached when a friend and fellow-recruit postings the intake went to Barnard Castle
returned from our first full overnight and thereafter to Buxtehude. Some did two
weekend pass looking totally distraught. years and left the Army, others signed on for
Football-mad and with only one ambition a few years or a career. As one who did said
in life-to play for Celtic one day,-he had “it’s a whole lot better than riding shotgun
been playing for his club in the St. Vincent on a bread van out of Shieldhall Bakery”.
de Paul league and, after a fracas, had been
“sent off”. Not, it transpired, for the first Over the years the attendance at reunions
time either. His disciplinary record in the and the lasting interest shown in the news
42
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