Mothers, friends & a connection to last a lifetime
By Julie B. Sevig W
hen Joseph and Magdalen Richter are older, they’ll have quite a birth story to tell. Tat story will also be one of faith and deep friendship. “Tese are our miracle babies,” said Anne Rich-
ter as she pushed the stroller carrying the 1-year-old twins into a local bakery. Babies conceived by in vitro fertilization—oſten aſter years of emotional pain and struggle—aren’t unusual. But this story is. Anne married Philip Richter at age 33, and they
started trying to have a baby. Unsuccessful, her doctor suggested fertility testing. Five years of struggle and failure resulted in a pregnancy with twins, but Anne miscarried at 21 weeks. Recovering from a massive hemorrhage that nearly killed her, she told her doctor, “I don’t ever want to be pregnant again.” She wasn’t pregnant again, but she did try. Ten one
day, aſter she and her mother returned from shopping, Anne announced to her parents with resignation, “I’m done trying to get pregnant.” Her mother responded: “Hallelujah!” Troughout their attempts to have a baby, people
tried to comfort the couple by saying, “Everything happens for a reason”—words Anne found painful and began to detest. Her husband assured her they would think of some-
thing else to do. Tey discussed both adoption and sur- rogacy (two embryos remained from in vitro three years earlier). Anne began to research surrogacy, inspired by a friend whose twins had been born through this method. Aſter contacting an agency in Madison, Wis., Anne
began the surrogacy process with Jamie Diestelhorst of Merrill, Wis. Jamie, who wasn’t going to have more children with her husband Steve, was inspired to help by an aunt who had been a surrogate. “I like the whole concept of it. Being able to see someone else have what I consider my greatest giſts was my motivation,” she said, looking at daughters Liana, 5, and Kira, 4. So Jamie went to her pastor with the idea. Yes, the
pastor. Jamie is youth and family director of Our Sav- iour Lutheran Church in Merrill, and what she wanted to do was no small thing. Te pastor at the time encour- aged her to keep it on “the down low,” but that becomes tricky when a youth group is following your pregnancy.
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www.thelutheran.org
While Jamie was considering surrogacy, Anne and
Philip were looking for a person of faith to carry their embryos. “We didn’t care who carried the babies, but we
wanted her to have some connection to faith,” said Anne, a hospice nurse. “Jewish, Christian … that didn’t matter, but faith that provided a moral compass was important to us.” What neither couple imagined was an ELCA con-
nection. Anne and Philip attend Lutheran Church of the Ascension, Northfield, Ill. What they received was a faith connection and a lifelong friendship.
Pregnancy, friendship grow Jamie knows about the struggle to conceive: “At one point I had failed test aſter failed test. I know what it was like.” She is also aware that her struggle ended ear- lier than it does for many women. Te couples, especially the women, underwent psy-
chological scrutiny in which every motive was tested, every situation examined. From the beginning of their relationship, Anne and
Jamie “clicked,” their senses of humor a testament to their friendship. Tey talked and texted so frequently that Philip asked his wife with amazement, “Do you two talk every day?” Yes. Anne credits Jamie with being “the driver of this
Jamie Diestelhorst, Merrill, Wis., reads to Joseph and Magdalen a book she wrote and dedicated to them for their first birthday, Feb. 4, titled, “We Wished For You.”
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