But no one said, “I forgive you.” I decided to give it a shot. An
opportunity came with a mix-up over Sunday school. I had prepared a lesson, only to find out that classes had been canceled. “Sorry, I forgot to tell you,” the
person in charge said. “And I’m sorry that you did all that work for nothing.” “It’s OK,” I said reflexively. Te
words had just fallen out, as they had so many times before. Recover- ing, I added tentatively, “I forgive you.” Te look on that person’s face
was priceless. First there was indig- nation, as if to say, “Who are you to judge me?” Aſter the indignation, though, came relief. “Tank you,” the person said. Te exchange was both awkward
and natural, as if we were rediscov- ering a language we had forgotten. It felt good. I knew I would say those words again. I did, and the more I did, the more natural it felt. I told my mom what I’d learned
and how meaningful it was for me to say and hear “I forgive you.” I’ll never forget what she said
next: “By the way, if I didn’t say I forgive you, I do now. Also, forgive- ness includes forgiving ourselves. I love you with all my heart.” I teared up. Her birthday had
been months before, but that was exactly what I needed to hear. Once she said the words, I was finally
Author bio: Seeke is pastor of Lutheran Church of the Incarnation in Marietta, Ga. He is also a writer best known for the film
Get Low and the follow-up book Uncle Bush’s Live Funeral, now available on www.
amazon.com. You can find him on Twitter, Facebook and at
www.scottseeke.com.
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able to forgive myself. I’m trying to make forgiveness
part of my vocabulary. Saying “I for- give you” still doesn’t feel completely natural. My first instinct is still to say, “Don’t worry about it” or “It’s OK.” If I catch myself, I add an “I forgive you” at the end. It feels as if I’m speaking in
Shakespearean English—intelligible but cumbersome. More impor- tantly, it feels right. I’ve learned that forgiveness isn’t just a giſt we receive from God. It’s a giſt God gives us to share with one another, best shared by looking someone in the eyes and saying these words: “I forgive you.”
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