Bow Lines
THE BEATLES LIED. THIS IS ALL YOU NEED. PHOTO: MIKE MONAGHAN
Boat. Paddle. Check.
Did you know there’s a collapsible hot tub you can take camping? It sounds nice, doesn’t it? Steamy baths under a night sky. The price might
be enough to put those fantasies on ice though—$999. If that doesn’t dissuade you, have a look at the specs. The unit weighs 20
pounds. Certainly not for the lightweight tripper, however an equal weight of food (or beer) has been paddled into the woods before. Maybe. On closer inspection of the fine print, those 20 pounds aren’t representa-
tive of the total weight—you’ll need to schlep another 30 pounds to bring in the tub’s external heating unit. Otherwise you may as well just sit in the lake. Even if the price and the combined weight don’t make your shoulders ache,
you’ll still have to fill up the tub. All 225 gallons of it. That’s potentially 851 trips with my camp pot to the lake or spigot. More likely, it will be filled with the backyard hose, because this tub won’t make it farther than my driveway. While the backcountry hot tub might seem to be one of the most impracti-
cal camping inventions on offer, it’s surely not the only eyebrow raiser out there. There are 16-room tents, tent-specific air-conditioning units and plush, 20-pound queen-sized cots. There are pop-up kitchens with more storage than my brick-and-mortar pantry, inflatable outdoor loveseats and tents with electricity. Also: portable dishwashers, collapsible whisks and a Swiss Army knife with 80 implements, which may come in handy for repair- ing dishwashers and rewiring tents.
A gear junkie escapes from the carnival of unnecessary inventions
All quality products, I’m sure, and all products I’ve probably dreamed about at some point. Still, there’s something that doesn’t sit right about trying to replicate all the modern conveniences my house offers—and many it doesn’t— in the wilderness. Last fall I had the privilege to spend a week with U.K. woodsman and ce-
lebrity Ray Mears. I got a first hand look at a master of bushcraft in action. It helped me gain some perspective—what am I doing with all these things? In the Canoeroots office it can be easy to get a little gear-obsessed—manu-
facturer specs noting the ounces saved, R-values and durable denier weaves dance across my desk. A sleeping bag that packs down small enough to fit in a Dutch oven that weighs less than a titanium spork and promises to keep me as warm as Thomas’ red snowsuit? Wow! It’s super cool—but it’s still just more stuff. While I’ve drooled over weather-proof mini torches, perfect for lighting fire
in any conditions, there was something much more meaningful—primitive, ethereal—in seeing Mears create fire from friction using only materials avail- able in the Boreal forest. It got me thinking about getting back to the basics. The only items abso-
lutely essential for exploring the wilderness are a canoe, paddle and PFD. I’m going to begin rebuilding my camp kit from there—no hot tubs needed. Kaydi Pyette is the editor of Canoeroots magazine. Read about her adventure with Ray Mears in Wabakimi on page 36.
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