church. Members are encouraged to complete it, discuss it with their pas- tor and place it on file at church. Patti Maguire, chaplain of Gloria


Dei Lutheran Church, Duluth, Minn., said doing this can help the pastor know the deceased better. Donald Bosserman of Williams-


burg, Va., said that’s one reason he wrote his own obituary—to assist the pastor in relating the worship service to his life. Bosserman’s obit identi- fies his favorite Bible passages and a statement of faith. Mark Wohlgemuth, Central


Lutheran Church, Anchorage, Alaska, said he’s pondered writ- ing his obituary for several years. Te thought of it is daunting, he said, because obits don’t convey the nuances and truth of life: “Certainly people want to remember and honor the best of a person’s life. But life is messy, and obits don’t convey life’s struggles, mistakes, lessons and learnings.” Richard Grudt, a retired pastor


in Pasco, Wash., is also keenly aware that death puts people on a pedestal. Instead of his traditional Christmas greeting to friends and family, he sends out an April 1 letter. One year he sent out his obituary, which he called “a little truth, a lot of fabrica-


tion and a great deal of humor.” “It was fun to take even death


lightly as Jesus has promised that death is not the end but that he gives us eternal life. And the Bible states: ‘A cheerful heart is a good medicine’ (Proverbs 17:22),” he added.


Looking back & forward Obituary writing is even found in a college course. Kathryn Kleinhans, professor of religion at Wartburg College, Waverly, Iowa, uses obituar- ies in her course “Asking Questions, Making Choices: Leading Lives Tat Matter.” She has students write obits that include family relationships and accomplishments thus far. Ten they look into the future and write New York Times-style obits that focus on the impact of their lives. “We talk about the commitment


they will need to make their obituar- ies come true,” Kleinhans said. Perhaps one the most impor-


tant things about writing your obit is making it factually correct and complete—Maguire offers a caution- ary tale about an aunt who leſt out a sister-in-law in her obituary. Funeral homes and newspaper editors may not know if your story is inflated or missing key relatives. Doug Lippert, Pilgrim Lutheran


More reader responses A


s the saying goes, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” Some readers


believe this applies to obituaries:


Some people would consider writing an obituary a morbid chore, but I found it otherwise. I found it to be comforting to me because I could see how God has been with me and working through me in all my years.


So write your obituary. In doing so, you will find it a true blessing to you as well as to those near to you. Virginia Stackel St. Mark Lutheran Church Charlotte, N.C.


My children can be relieved of trying to determine what to have printed about me. If this is my final production, then I want to be in charge for the last time.


After all, who knows better than I what my life meant and how I was involved in my church and my community?” Gladys Kleinknecht St. Paul Lutheran Church Hainesport, N.J.


If nothing else, this preliminary effort is a huge gift to the family. It enables them to know for certain what my wishes were and frees them from having to


November 2014 31


Church, Carmel, Ind., said that’s one reason he wrote his own: to “make sure my former wife was mentioned … and that my current wife and stepdaughter were held in the proper regard. Te first 10 years of my life were ‘magic,’ and I wanted to honor my grandparents, cousins, aunt and uncle … who probably wouldn’t get a mention if someone else wrote this .... “I wanted to have a little more


control over what is said about me, publicly, aſter I join Christ in heaven.” Kathy Ouellette, a former nurse


and member of Good Shepherd Lutheran Church, Washington, Kan., said her life review enabled her to acknowledge “my family of origin, my husband and children, my call to nursing, my opportunities to work in the church, and my interests and hobbies; things that brought joy and satisfaction to my life. “I thought about the life that I


shared with my husband and the faith that we had shared with our children. By facing my own death (even though it was not imminent) I was able to get on with my life.” 


Author bio: Etshman is a free- lance writer in Roch- ester, N.Y.


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