FINALLY!
Veteran Jared Frayer, who has gained a new perspec- tive on life after his daughter was born with Down syndrome, earned a spot on his first Olympic Team.
By Jason Bryant
Jared Frayer needed time away from wrestling. He needed to forget about it, just for a little while. The decision wasn’t solely up to him. A month after a disheartening and controversial three-period loss to Brent Metcalf at the 2010 U.S. World Team Trials in Council Bluffs, Iowa, Frayer and his wife Nicole were told their little girl, Khloe, still months away from seeing the world for the first time, was going to be different. How different they wouldn’t know immediately. Fear grips people differently. Fear grips first-time parents almost unmercifully when they hear their child will not be just like everyone else. The pain and grieving process quickly turns in every direction.
You want to know why. You ask why me. You sometimes run out of questions. Jared and Nicole asked all of those things. For Frayer, the 33-year-old first-time Olympian, the fact his daughter was born with Down syndrome changed things - main- ly his perspective.
“There were some risks involved with the checkpoints,” Frayer said. “Her risk for Down syndrome was raised. We decided we were going to go through all the processes and as you get clos- er and closer, we wanted to know.” Perhaps knowing is the hardest part. But for the Frayers, knowing made things a little easier. It also made tough ques- tions easier to answer. “We’re planners,” said Frayer. “It was a frustrating scenario. The nurses and doctors were pushing that we might want to stop the pregnancy, but we made it clear from the get go -- she’s our baby and we’re keeping her no matter what.” Down syndrome is a chromosomal condition caused by all or
part of a 21st chromosome, which can cause a delay of cogita- tive ability, stymied physical growth and slight physical abnor- malities, such as a smaller than normal chin and extremely rounded facial features. That’s the short version. “Once we found out, you go through a grieving process and a day or two of just figuring out as much as you can about the condition and now, she’s such a blessing,” said Frayer. “She’s the happiest person alive. She’s going to have her struggles and we’re going to be there for her.” But in the months following Frayer’s loss to Metcalf in 2010, wrestling was the furthest thing from his mind. Frayer admittedly just “went through the motions” when filing a grievance about the procedure during the winner-take-all clinch at the end of the third match in Council Bluffs.
But when you know your child will need special care, months before she enters the world, it’s perspective that changes.
8 USA Wrestler
Jared Frayer makes the Olympic Team. Tony Rotundo photo.
“It makes you think a little bit more,” said Frayer. “I’ve internal- ized a lot and talked to my wife and parents and my inner circle. The snares (Khloe) is going to go through, it puts so many things in perspective and makes this sport a little less impor- tant.”
Now 16 months old and starting to hit that rambunctious
stage, Khloe is everything the Frayers want in a daughter. Now, they have Olympic dreams to share. “She’s my baby, she’s my first born,” said Frayer. “She’s going to make things brighter and better.”
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