Feature: Patrick Forsyth Business Executive | February 2012 | PAGE 15


n A watch strap is labelled “To be worn on the wrist” as if being a watch strap wasn’t information enough.


n A brand of sports socks tells you to “Wash when dirty” which is maybe only sensible if it is directed exclusively at teenage boys.


All these and more have me in despair;


who could be so dim as not to see the possible (probable?) misinterpretations and confusions. They do their originators no good or at least they dilute any good image; at worst they destroy it. Do the writers of such things think the public all have the brains of dormice, or is it that they simply think hardly at all? I would even take issue with those headphones that explain that you should “Wear the earpiece marked (R) in your right ear and the one marked (L) in your left ear”. It is clear but is it necessary? Sometimes there is a double twist to this kind of thing. A major supermarket chain have shops with in-store opticians in them. One such has a sign saying: “Contact lens patients should remember to bring their lenses with them or we will be unable to see them”. Nobody evidently saw the odd way that is put, and anyway surely if you are the patient without lenses it is more likely that you will be unable to see the optician. Sometimes such things are confusing, like a drink advertisement


saying “Blackcurrant juice – comes in two flavours – orange and strawberry”. Or a shop advertising “Everything under 5 Euros – or less”; a lack of numeracy seems common. In New Zealand I saw a sign saying “It is dangerous to use this bridge when this notice is under water” (and presumably invisible!). On occasion there are real problems. A language course teaching “essential Italian” promises to have you “reading, writing and speaking French in no time at all”. Sounds like you will get a shock when you first visit Rome and try out


So many people in business, consciously or not, seem to take us for idiots. Much nonsense comes from large and small organisations in every part of the world


your new language skills. But what does one think of a language learning process that takes “no time at all”? It is very easy to get just a sentence or two


wrong; that gives a poor impression and gets people thinking only of your ineptitude. So what problems are there in writing a whole brochure or a report? The moral is simple: do not rush such things (many errors come from pure inattention) and, however long you take to write something, check it carefully before you click “Print” – perhaps do so twice! Here is one final example: boxes of a


famous brand of chocolates have some printing on the bottom of the box, one part of this says: “Do not read this whilst box is open”. Sensible enough, but surely by the time you complete reading the sentence your


chocolates will be on the floor. Contact: www.patrickforsyth.com


Reader Offer


Patrick Forsyth has a new book cataloguing such errors. It draws attention to the need for accurate writing, careful checking and getting this task right. The book “Empty when half full” is hilarious, and gives a serious lesson to those in business who have to put anything into print. Copies can be purchased £9.99, (or £8.99, post


free in the U.K.) via the author’s web site: www.patrickforsyth.com


Shutterstock/Elnur


Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28