YOUR ASS IS GLASS
As if visiting the dentist to have a cavity drilled out wasn’t horrifying enough, Tim (James Kirk), who also survived the aforementioned highway disaster, almost meets his maker when an electrical short nearly causes him to pass out from a nitrous oxide overdose and choke to death on a rubber fish that falls into his mouth from an overhead mobile. Luckily, the dentist’s assistant plucks it out just in time and he’s able to leave in one piece. Un- luckily, just as he steps outside, he’s crushed to death by a huge sheet of plate glass dropped by a construction crew working overhead.
DEATH WARMED OVER
The weakest of the FD franchise and the only entry to feel the need to show prolonged scenes of gratuitous frontal nudity, this outing’s saving grace is a fairly fabulous double death. Ashley and Ashlyn (Chelan Simmons and Crystal Lowe) survive a roller coaster disaster and celebrate in true bimbo fashion, by going to the tanning salon. Things really heat up when they strip down and climb into their tan- ning beds, only to become trapped after an overhead shelf falls. The beds malfunction, and the girls are subsequently cooked to a crisp.
GOING... DOWN
Tim’s sister Nora (Lynda Boyd) is desperately trying to hold her life together after walking away from that same car accident when she’s warned that a man with hooks might kill her. The warning becomes all the more potent when she later finds herself on an elevator with a creepy old dude, who is carrying a box filled with artificial limbs, including arms with nasty-looking hooks for hands. In a desperate at- tempt to flee, her hair becomes tangled on one of his hooks, and her head is wedged between the elevator doors just as they close. The elevator starts to move up to the next floor and she is gruesomely decapi- tated, showering everyone in the vicinity in a geyser of blood.
DRAG RACIST
This time it’s a devastating crash at a race-car track that a small group of survivors manage to escape, only to eventually meet their maker one by one. When a red- neck racist decides to exact some payback on a black security guard he blames for his girlfriend’s death, his plans to burn a cross on the guard’s front lawn go hor- ribly awry. He gets caught on the hook of his runaway tow truck and is dragged down the street, catching fire via spilled gasoline and blowing up in a blast of flames and blood that leaves his decapitated head at the feet of his would-be victim.
GOING TO PIECES CHUNKS AHOY!
Rory (Jonathan Cherry) survives the high- way accident, as well as another mishap, which nearly sees him impaled by a load of pipes being transported on a trailer, but he soon meets an amazingly gruesome end. When fuel from a punctured gas tank is ig- nited by a dropped cigarette, it causes a nearby van to explode, hurling a section of barbed-wire fencing right at Rory, who is neatly severed into several wet chunks.
An auto mechanic who also survived the racetrack smash- up laughs off the warnings of his imminent death, only to kick the bucket in one of the most brutal death scenes in the entire franchise. Although he escapes being crushed by a vehicle in his shop that rolled off of a lift, his supremely gory demise oc- curs when a hurling acetylene canister propels him through a chain-link fence, which dices his body into bloody cubes that slowly plop to the ground.
FINAL DESTINATION 5COMES OUT AUGUST 12 FROM WARNER BROS.
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