make it an enjoyable watch, particularly because di- rector Chance Shirley (Hide & Creep) decided to completely forego CGI in favour of practical effects, which give the production a cool, retro feel. If you’re a fan of movies such as Automatons and THX 1138, this is your chance to be one of those geeks who can say they saw Interplanetary before it became an un- derground hit.
LAST CHANCE LANCE
DON’T STOP ’TIL YA GET ENOUGH
Overlooked, Forgotten and Dismissed Frying the Coop’
This issue: Lance checks his shorTs
SCARLET FRY’S JUNKFOOD HORRORFEST Brain Damage Films
Short films are like quickies: fast, sweet and satisfying, but only if done with care. Unfortunately, these six shorts hosted by Scarlet Fry – a rotting hillbilly with a penchant for tying wayward women to trees – don’t make the cut. While each of the cautionary tales boasts an array of colourful characters, including overweight cannibals, murderous nurses, pissed-off Satanists, pregnant girlfriends and even skateboarding stoners, and they’re full of (low-budget) gore effects, the films are
disjointed, muddled, often nonsensical and set to a soundtrack that may have been created by some- one beating on a Casio keyboard with a severed limb. A cameo by Alice Cooper’s sexy daughter Calico as a strung-out junkie is a highlight, but even the horror-lovin’ shock rocker couldn’t get behind this one. BODY COUNT: 11 STRANGEST KILL: Transvestite beaten to death with a skateboard
More Damaged Goods
NIGHTMARE ALLEY Brain Damage Films
Scarlet Fry is back – made over to look like a sideshow raconteur – to introduce the seven shorts of Nightmare Alley. Filmed in “Grind-O-Scope,” which gives some of the tales that scratchy vintage look, this is definitely a step up from Junkfood Horrorfest. Running the gamut from an Old West tale about three cow- boys who find a meteorite that turns them into gut-munching zombies, to a short about a possessed toy mouse that makes its owner prey on nubile hitchhikers,
this disc is jammed with cannibals, ghosts, emo kids and even a yarn featuring a modern Jack the Ripper. A low-budget affair with bad acting and laughable effects, it’s still ideal for watching with a few friends and a lot of beer! BODY COUNT: 19 STRANGEST KILL: Fat guy brained with a frying pan
Can’t Spell ‘Slaughter’ Without ‘Laughter’
DR. SHOCK’S GRINDHOUSE OF HORRORS Brain Damage Films With a pair of X-ray specs, a fake moustache and the annoying habit of referring to his viewers as “couch potatoes,” Dr. Shock is a hyperactive horror host who has risen out of the Ohio muck to host a series of horror shorts, including Dr. Shock’s Tales of Terror (RM#28) and Dr. Shock’s Scary Stories (RM#35). This new trio of tales focuses on two deranged brothers who use their bed and break- fast to render tourists into beef jerky, a bunch of hookers who turn their horny
clients into vampires and a down-and-out journalist who hires some stoners to help him with a killer scoop. Sick, stupid and silly – it’s comforting to know the good doctor still has the perfect prescription for low-budget horror humour. BODY COUNT: 15 STRANGEST KILL: Ass ruptured by a rototiller
LAST CHANCE LANCE RM42
PROWL Starring Courtney Hope, Ruta Gedmintas and Bruce Payne
Directed by Patrik Syversen Written by Tim Tori After Dark Films
You know all those horror films that go on about
five minutes too long? Prowl is frustrating in an en- tirely different way: it ends just when things start to get interesting. It has a lot going for it – an unusually proactive heroine; creepy, minimalist settings; and a fairly inventive take on an idea that has worn out its welcome – but it also takes forever to get to the good stuff. When it fi- nally does, the credits roll and we’re left with the first really intriguing question posited in the entire film: what the hell happens next? Amber (Courtney Hope)
is ready to ditch her Mid- western hometown in favour of the big city. She and her friends are en route to Chicago when their car breaks down, so they talk a creepy truck driver (Bruce Payne) into taking them to the city in the back of his creepy truck (yes, I know). They never make it to Amber’s new apartment, of course, as the trucker instead delivers them to an abandoned slaughterhouse. The (mostly off-camera) bloodshed begins before you can say, “Damn, no cellphone sig- nal.” One of Prowl’s nicer surprises is that it avoids the
stalk-’n’-slash scenario that seems a given from its set-up. Slaughter here is a wholesale, rather than piecemeal, affair, and you might be shocked as to what happens to whom, and when. The energy of the attacks is mostly compromised by shaky camera work and jackrabbit editing, but the creatures (vam- pires, apparently, though the word is never used) are acceptably aggressive and the script hints at an in- teresting mythology. Hints is the problem. Though Prowl is essentially a lengthy lead-up to a
twist many will see coming (and one that strains credibility for sure), it does take the story into some intriguing territory. It’s just too bad we don’t get to spend any time there.
APRIL SNELLINGS
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