to stop them from unleashing the Ten- tacled One himself upon the Earth. If you were wondering where the
THE FAMILIAR Kody Zimmermann
22 minutes
thefamiliarmovie.com Like my own misadventures as a strip club DJ, The Fa- miliar is a cautionary tale in which a would-be dream gig turns out to be just another shit job. Not every fa- mous vampire has a familiar – basically a human as-
sistant – but they’re relatively common in film and literature. (Think Dracula’s Renfield.) Kody Zimmermann’s take on the archetype finds an impressionable dork accepting a gofer gig for a narcissistic 400-year-old vampire, only to be doomed to a life of servitude. The dialogue’s a little dull for a dark satire, but Zimmermann directs with panache, the small cast is superb and the film looks great, belying the $15,000 budget. Apparently Zimmermann drew in- spiration from working as an actor’s assistant. Wonder if he counts The Dresser among his favourite films?
JOHN W. BOWEN
THE HAIRY HANDS Ashley Thorpe
12 minutes
carrionfilms.co.uk The latest from animator Ashley Thorpe (RM#98) plun- ders an obscure British folk tale about a pair of spectral, disembodied hands that terrorize motorists on the winding hills of Dartmoor. Featuring the unmistakable rasp of Doug “Pinhead” Bradley and riffing on the likes
of David Lynch, Alfred Hitchcock and EC Comics, The Hairy Hands sees a con-man speeding through the dreaded moors on a deserted night. He’s just suckered some poor lady out of a sizeable chunk of change and almost gets away with it until the fabled hands put an oink in his ointment. With his char- acteristic approach of combining still photos with painted backgrounds, Thorpe beautifully captures the haunting isolation of the ghostly moors in the same evocative, gothic style that is his trademark.
STUART F. ANDREWS
ANIMAL CONTROL Kire Paputts
17 minutes
animalcontrolfilm.com Larry is a reclusive animal control worker who’s fallen into a morbid yet oddly serene routine harvesting road- kill and bringing it home to rest amongst a litany of taxi- dermied critters. When one of his soon-to-be-stuffed pals turns out to be not quite dead, Larry grips his rusty
shovel and… It’s that ellipsis that best describes Animal Control’s horror. Aside from some gruesome taxidermy, the unease is rooted in the viewer’s preconceived notions of both horror films and people in general. Sporting a combover and a gaunt physique, Larry seems weird enough to bugger the next dead animal he sees. But every time he’s put in a position of power, he pauses to contemplate the situation before acting. By letting our imaginations run wild, Animal Control creates a powerful sense of dread – all before end- ing on a surprisingly touching note.
DAVID WEISZ RM 04 C I N E M A C A B R E
requisite Fat One was in all of this, he appears in the form of Paul (Barak Hardley), Jeff and Charlie’s former classmate who knows everything about Lovecraft’s universe, even if he does live in his grandma’s guest room. Together they seek out a desert- dwelling sea captain who can help them defeat Starspawn and his min- ions. The bad CGI and cheap monster
masks are forgivable, even kinda fun, and the animated history of Cthulhu sequence is rather inspired, but the script is Elder God-awful. The telescoped jokes are lame and the dialogue is wannabe-Kevin Smith irritating, especially when spouted by such cliché characters. Laughably described on the DVD cover as “Evil Dead meets The Hang-
over” (no, wrong, fuck you) and clearly influenced by Shaun of the Dead, The Last Lovecraft utterly fails to capitalize on a strong premise, and the often jarring editing just makes it that much more of a fish-fisted wreck. Somewhere, out past the Mountains of Sadness, and beyond time and space, H.P.’s long face just got even longer.
DAVE ALEXANDER POISON PEN-PAL
THE LAST VICTIM Starring William Forsythe, Jesse Moss and Emma Lahana
Directed by Svetozar Ristovski Written by Jason Moss and Kellie Madison Anchor Bay
Adapted from the book of the same name, The Last Victim (also known
on film as Dear Mr. Gacy) recounts the true story of eighteen-year-old col- lege student Jason Moss (played by the coincidentally surnamed Jesse Moss: Tucker & Dale vs. Evil), who forged a relationship with death row inmate John Wayne Gacy in the seven months leading up to the se- rial killer’s execution in May 1994. In need of a subject for a crimi-
nology term paper, Jason hatches the idea of becoming pen pals with the incarcerated mass murderer under the false pretenses of relat- ing to his plight and seeking guid- ance for a fledgling gay lifestyle (Gacy was a suspected homosex- ual). After catching his attention with staged half-naked photos, Jason appears to earn Gacy’s trust as the two exchange letters and talk in- timately for hours on the phone, the deception eventually fracturing Jason’s relations with his family and girlfriend. As Gacy becomes increasingly needy, Jason’s research – including a trip to a seedy gar bar where he is drugged by a hustler – grows dangerously consuming. By the time Gacy suggests the pair should meet face to face, it’s clear Jason has grossly underesti- mated the reach and depth of Gacy’s perverse darkness and the impact of the killer’s influence on his psyche. So much so that, though it isn’t covered in the film’s narrative, the book’s title proved to be nasty foreshadowing when, in 2006, Jason – a practicing criminal defence attorney at the time – took his own life.
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