GODS DAMMIT!
CLASH OF THE TITANS Starring Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes
Directed by Louis Leterrier Written by Travis Beacham, Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi Image
For disciples of Ray Harryhausen’s 1981 stop-
motion masterpiece, the very idea of a CG-laden remake is a blasphemy to the Olympian gods themselves. Yet this humble reviewer and devotee of the original was ac- tually looking forward to it, seeing it as an opportunity to reinvent the tale for a new age of digital effects. Plus, the trailer was killer; Medusa, Pe- gasus and the Kraken were all there, along with some Lord of the Rings-style aerial photog- raphy punctuated by Pete Postlethwaite’s stern call to action: “One day, somebody’s gonna have to make a stand!” It all seemed to promise a Clash of the Titans re- worked as serious fantasy and epic drama. However, the mad scramble to convert the movie into “View-D” 3-D in the weeks leading
CINE MACA B R E
up to its release should’ve been an early warn- ing. Yet the shallow, callous cash grab of the phony 3-D is the least of this lamentable film’s problems. It suffers from a joyless tone, monotonous
colour palette and wonky cast – Ralph Fiennes as Hades essentially reprises his role as Lord Voldemort, and as for Liam Neeson as Zeus? It’s hard to take anyone seriously as the “King of the Gods” who had a major role in The Phantom Menace. Yet, the worst part of this remake is that, while it hits many of the same big mo- ments and set pieces as the original, everything is moti- vated by a completely different set of narrative events. So in- stead of a simple story about a hero fulfilling his destiny to save the woman he loves, the tale is twisted into a tiresome revenge saga with an angry Perseus (Sam Worthington) ob- sessed with destroying Hades for killing his father and too angry at the gods to accept his
true calling as a demigod. Basically, it’s Beverly Cross’ original script with all the magic, won- derment and romance sucked out in favour of a sullen, hyper, action-driven narrative that’s
cranked up to eleven at all times. It doesn’t help that Sam Worthington has all the charisma of a plank of wood. But definitely the most tedious aspect of this
Clash of the Titans is that, for those familiar with Harryhausen’s epic, sitting through this bom- bastic mess amounts to little more than a weird compare-and-contrast exercise with the origi- nal film. It feels less like a fantasy adventure and more like an algebra exam.
STUART F. ANDREWS BLOOMIN’ ‘ELL
THE DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS (BLU-RAY) Starring Dougray Scott, Joely Richardson and Jason Priestley
Directed by Nick Copus Written by Patrick Harbinson, Richard Mewis and John Wyndham Power
When it comes to horror and sci-fi, the British
do three things astoundingly well: Hammer Hor- ror, Doctor Who and films about those pesky carnivorous plants known as triffids. The Day of the Triffids is a post-apocalyptic
story (originally written by John Wyndham in 1951) about how nearly all of Earth’s inhabitants are simultaneously blinded by a dazzling meteor shower, only to be preyed upon by a malicious species of man-eating, intelligent plant life.
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